Believe it or not, I actually give a fair amount of compliments. Yes, you read that correctly. Sometimes I really do say nice things to people. I realize I post regularly about my negative interactions with the general public. In fact, I vocalize my hatred for people openly. Hell, my male version of Resting Bitch Face is so deeply rooted, it radiates my entire being. Be this as it may, if I find something I like about an individual, I tell that person. I have one golden rule when delivering said praises. Every compliment is sincere. I mean every fucking word.
I was at the gym last week and this dude in his early sixties was working out. He wasn’t a regular at that time of day, but the dude was impressive in his training. And, he had killer calves. I have been a leg guy all my life. If a woman has nice legs, it’s almost guaranteed she’s going to have a really nice ass, too. I don’t have a similar correlation with men because, like, I don’t scope their asses, okay. But, no pun intended, I do notice calves. Furthermore, calves are an extremely hard muscle group to develop. So, if someone, male or female, has a nice set I feel compelled to tell them so. Unfortunately, in this situation, I didn’t. And, I kinda feel bad. He deserved the compliment. So often, we as adults are rarely complimented. Why is that?
Let’s face it – it’s just awkward. When a dude tries to give another dude a compliment – even more awkward. Except in a Docker’s commercial, of course. Girls constantly compliment each other without the slightest bit of awkwardness. Throw a dude in there – even when it’s dude to girl. and it just get complicated. Which brings me to my next point of contention with this innocent act of trying to say something nice. Few people actually know how to receive a compliment. Instead of just a simple thank you, the recipient harangues the giver with reasons at why said compliment is somewhat undeserving. True story. As far as I’m concerned, just say thank you and shut the fuck up. (coma) Bitch.
timing is everything
My last issue with delivering praise worthy comments is my horrible lack of timing. I totally suck at syncing. I usually compliment someone in mid-conversation when it’s totally unexpected and random therefore derailing the entire course of our discussion. Imagine that. You would think by this stage of my life I would’ve learned some timing by now. No chance, baby. My only saving grace is that my compliments are delivered sincerely. The receiver recognizes this and is usually forgiving. Usually.
Well, that’s it. That’s all I got. Regardless of anything you’ve just read, I still hate people. However, if I find something that is NOT completely loathe worthy in someone else, I tell the person.
Twisted shit, eh?