hopes and dreams of chickens everywhere

First, let me apologize. I never intended to have two posts about crossing roadways back to back. Bill 6 went into law July 2017.  But, I didn’t hear about it until early December -too late to post about walking.  Besides, I had to wait for summer.  I blame them Brady bitches – couldn’t get that damn song out of my head.  This post is more recent, of course.  And, the the most Random of Nonsense. What’s a blogger to do?

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

My favorite bakery here in Traverse calls their dining area ‘the Roost’.  Consequently, it is decorated accordingly.  A plaque with the picture of a chicken and the above verse caught my attention.  I laughed. Hard. It’s really funny – especially if said with a hint of dramatic flare.

Recently, my Mom was having a bad day.  In an attempt to lighten our conversation and, more importantly her mood, I shared my newfound chicken chatter.  We laughed. Hard.  Those ‘motivational’ words served their purpose well.  So well in fact, I decided to blog it forward.

Don’t worry.  I am not going to provide countless examples pertaining to said chicken and its intentions. Hell, I think those jokes are really kinda stupid. Moreover, I tackled the actual ‘crossing’ issue in the last post.

date of the first attempt

1847 – Monthly New York magazine Knickerbocker is the first to publish the classic, “why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.”

That’s all I’s got.  I wanted to include more, but even the ever trusted Wikipedia (sarcastic tone implied) had little information.  Here’s what probably happened. Farmers eventually heard the joke. After that, no chicken or its motives were safe from comedic ridicule.

theories attempting to explain what happened – 

Marie Curie: Good question. And one that is much less hazardous to one’s health.

Albert Einstein: The chicken did not cross the road. The road passed beneath the chicken.

Stephen Hawking: Chicken fluctuations will inevitably create a scenario where a chicken ends up on the other side of the yellow line, in which case there is a nonzero probability that it will escape to the other side.

Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross roads.

Carl Sagan: There are billions and billions of such chickens, crossing roads just like this one, all across the universe.

What the peck?

  • Personally, I think all chickens should be … Free Range.  Moreover, if they want to cross the damn road – go for it.  Motives are often highly over-rated.
  • Chickens are simple, yet seemingly responsible creatures. I’m certain they would never get distracted from the task at … claw.
  • Sir Isaac Newton died in 1727.  Chickens weren’t ‘outed’ until 1847.  Hmm… .
  • Lastly, my chicken posting stops here. I may included a recipe down the line.  But that’s it.  Please know I would never attempt to address that age old chicken-egg controversy.  Though reading Einstein’s thoughts may be interesting.

Speaking of eggs, my breakfast is ready.  So, I will close this post in a similar fashion as the epilogue to My Life.

Order up!

a ‘fine’ day for a walk

Police in Honolulu … will begin writing tickets for people who get distracted by their cellphones while walking in a crosswalk. Honolulu is the first major city in the country to pass such a law, citing a high rate of pedestrians being hit in crosswalks.

Mayor Kirk Caldwell signed Bill 6, also known as the Distracted Walking Law, in July 2017. At the time, he said that Honolulu held “the unfortunate distinction of being a major city with more pedestrians being hit in crosswalks, particularly our seniors, than almost any other city in the county.”

  • Under the new law, the only legal reason for a pedestrian to use a cellphone while crossing a street or highway would be to call 911 to report an emergency.
  •  not limited to cellphones – a downward glance at a screen of any kind will cost you — a phone, a tablet, a video game.
  • Minimum fines for breaking the new law start at $15; for repeat offenders, the penalty ranges from $75 to $99. Higher rates — up to $100 for a first offense, $200 for a second, and $500 for a third — had been considered earlier this year.
  • pedestrian deaths have increased by 11%
  • when pedestrians use a cellphone, “this distraction can cause them to trip, cross roads unsafely or walk into motionless objects such as street signs, doors or walls.”


So much to comment on, so little blog space, eh?

Personally, I think the legislation is a step in the right direction. (pun intended) Everyone has their own agenda today. Unfortunately, nothing on anyone’s agenda has to do with common sense or courtesy whatsoever.

As if Hawaii thought they had issues – here in Northern Michigan we have stupid idiots that ride their bikes and attempt to text.  On the shoulder of a busy four lane street. First of all, these people should not attempt to multi task.  Ever.  Second, there are very good reasons  grown man are riding their bikes. This IS Northern Michigan.


My opening comment about having so much to comment on was wrong.  Well, kinda.  There is.  But, my rambling would be unreadable gibberish with lots of foul language.  So, I’ll just stop.  Maybe I’ll go for a walk outside now.  I won’t be … fined.  Remember, I don’t have a cell phone.  Besides, the summertime is calling my name. 

I just hope those Brady bitches look both ways before entering the crosswalk.

doggie downers

Back in May 2017, I posted about 7 things I hated because of others.  Number 5 on that list was pet prescriptions.  Well, a year later nothing is different. Not that I would’ve thunk otherwise, mind you.  In fact, that damn list just got longer. Oddly enough, my ‘hate’ regarding this particular issue has changed. Sadly, the amount of pet prescriptions has increased dramatically. Yes, some of these pets have documented issues and need to be treated appropriately.  However, this is not always the case.


Fido is so over playing ‘fetch’

Today when I dispense a vet prescription, I actually feel sorry for the dumb dog. Please know – I realize that dogs are not dumb by any means. It’s just a catch phrase – like “Damn kids!” Actually, it’s the situation that’s dumb.  What the hell did Fido ever do to warrant medication? Truthfully, fetch gets boring.  Fast. Catching a Frisbee isn’t easy, either.  Especially with your mouth. And, maybe Trixie, the neighborhood poodle, was wagging her tail that certain way. I’m thinking Fido would much rather ‘style’ it up with that bitch than catch a fucking frisbee.

Rex does’t like parties

Thirty some years ago, I was young and beautifully bronzed from reckless summer days of life guarding.  Without sunscreen. Gasp.  Yeah, baby! Jack, the pool manager, used to have an annual bash for the employees. It was usually themed and quite fun.  Unfortunately, his dog Rex didn’t like to party. To address this issue, Jack contacted his vet for some ‘doggie downers’ as they were so affectionately referenced.

Fast forward to present day. I am now old, wrinkled, and blogging about my concern for said doggie downers.  Back then, I had no idea what Jack slipped Rex.  Today, I know way too much than I care to about what owners are giving their pets.

Prozac, Paxil, Trazodone, Gabapentin have all been used for anxiety and stress related events in every dogs life.  (Note – underlying sarcastic tone) I understand that thunderstorms, fireworks, and summer parties, can elicit  anxious behavior, but, grooming?

Last, but definitely not least, there’s the go to anti-anxiety favorite for pets and owners alike – Xanax.  Because, you know, even Rover attends … summer weddings.


Patches is in pain

Pain medication can also be prescribed for acute and chronic inflammatory conditions.  Luckily, diagnostic tools can assess the presence of these symptoms. Unlike the ‘assumption’ that Fido is depressed because of his aversion to having things thrown at him.  Meloxicam and Piroxicam are non-steroidal alternatives to reduce swelling. Tramadol has become the new staple for pain ever since Norco changed narcotic classes in light of that whole opioid crisis. Unfortunately for Fluffy, her owner likes Tramadol a bit too much.  It’s pretty pathetic when a vet calls to establish dispensing parameters. Owner-resistant packaging may be the necessary deterrent to mandate.  Kids can open child-resistant closures easier than most adults.  So, I’m thinkin’ Fido would be quite entertained watching his owner attempt that ‘trick’.

Woof. Woof!

P.S. – I still hate mustaches.

partly, partly forecast

Believe it or not, I AM an optimist.  (Pause) I wanted that statement to settle in before I continued. Granted, my postal ramblings are often peppered with negative comments.   But, can you blame me?  Look around.  It ain’t pretty out there.  And, I work retail pharmacy.  The only ‘positive’ is a new mandate to encourage dispensing a naltrexone emergency kit to a narcotic abuser.  So when there are signs of respiratory depression from an ‘accidental’ opioid overdose, their ass will be saved. (sarcasm intended)

Oh, and that anger issue I kinda have … . Trust me, my bark is much worse than my bite.  Though sometimes that unapproachable asshole aura I have acquired keeps the riff-raff at bay. It’s … nice. Riff-raff totally sucks.

I rise above it all and, more often than not, view the glass as half full. By the way, I hate that damn glass.  It’s so fucking stupid. One simple catch phrase cannot determine your state of mind. Alas, I move forward beyond the emptiness of my opening rant and present the reason for this tantrum.  Of temper .. ature?

As I have stated before, I’m a The Weather Channel slug.  The Local on the 8’s totally rock for my weather needs. Though I must admit, my slugness stops there. I do the 8’s and … I’m great. (pun intended) A few weeks back, I tuned in a bit early and caught an advertisement clip released from Weather Underground – a weekday scheduled program. A few meteorologists present the weather and related phenomenon in a relaxed atmosphere. Dr. Greg Postel, a frequent guest/regular, is quite the climate dude. Recently, he addressed the ever controversial debate between partly sunny AND partly cloudy.

Spoiler alert: there is NO difference.  Both terms refer to the same ‘measurable’ amount of cloud cover.

Temperature Tantrum: Partly Cloudy vs. Partly Sunny

"Partly cloudy," or "partly sunny" – is there REALLY a difference? Dr. Greg Postel has some not-so-happy thoughts about it in his latest Temperature Tantrum!

Posted by AMHQ on Saturday, May 12, 2018

Indulging in the cliche, Dr. Postel went, well, postal during his ‘Temperature Tantrum‘. He equated the scenario to that fucking glass.  “It’s all about the … outlook,” he finally said, kicking back with a cocktail that was filled appropriately.

The presentation was rather humorous, but I have a problem with the reasoning. Imagine that, eh? Hear me out though.  Semantically, partly sunny seems like the more positive verbiage.  In reality, partly cloudy eludes to more sun than clouds. Yet, it’s the more negatively viewed scenario. Hmm… .

I know, I know.  It’s the weather. And, these are meteorologists. One of the only professions where you can be wrong the majority of the time and no one really cares.  Me, I will remain the unsuspecting optimist in the negative hypocrisy that is my relentless Tropical Storm – retail pharmacy.  My recent horrorscope indicated a career change was in my immediate forecast.  Hopefully my clouds will finally dissipate and I will be … mostly sunny.

NOTE: this video was only available on TWC Facebook page.  You may have to log in to view – I apologize.

Fatherly advice?

We were at church on Mother’s Day. Yes, the entire family.  Rarely does that happen anymore, considering work schedules and … life.  A young family was seated directly in front of us.  The youngest child – probably about 18 months old – caught my attention.  So damn cute. Of course, I thought of my children and how they were once that young.  It seemed that things were so much easier then.  Still, I would never go back.  Hell, I almost have two of my three out of the house.  Why on earth would I ever go back?

My main goal a a parent was to always be around.  Not in that hell-icopter sort of way.  But in an existence way.  So, if anything was ever needed, I was present. I am a huge home body which made this very easy.  I think just being accessible is the the most important part of parenting.  Well, that and listening.  Even when you are not part of the conversation, you can still hear what’s being said.

Another perk to being around is that I accommodate my children’s needs.  Within reason, of course.  If my 21 year old son asks me to make him a sandwich, I willingly comply.  Can he do it himself? Most definitely. Soon, very soon, he will be out of the house on his own for good. I will never say the words,  “I wish I didn’t make that sandwich.” My wife says I am doing a huge disservice to the children by doating too much.  I disagree.

To this day, I have never logged into their school accounts to check grades or progress reports. I don’t even know how to do it. Furthermore, once the kids were in Middle School, I never attended a Parent-Teacher Conference.  Each child knew I would go if requested.  And, if something was needed, I would be on it.  Immediately.

My second child (the hockey player)  is a Senior in High School.  She has had quite the tumultuous year. A fucking roller coaster is probably a better description. Still, it was all good – planned to perfection by me.  She was in Canada for hockey training, hoping that would facilitate better college opportunities.  The world of collegiate hockey is a beast all its own, let me tell you. Often, she would call for advice, especially when it came time to choosing a college to attend. I offered my opinion, weighing the pro/con factor, still remaining … neutral. I did not want to be cliche either, offering false words of supposed wisdom that are a total disservice to the recipient. Besides, how could I ever make that decision? It’s all her.  And, it should be.  I was there for every loop of that fucking roller coaster, though.  She exited the ride stronger – I think. Me, I drank more.  Just kidding?!

Where is all this going? No fucking clue.  I don’t have all of the answers.  Hell, the answers I do provide are often ill-received.  Fortunately, things … work out.  One thing for certain – there will always be another carnival attraction.  Unfortunately, I may not always be tall enough to ride.

first pancakes, now peonies

I come from a long ancestry of gardeners. Nothing compares to working outside. (insert: manly grunt) Unfortunately, Northern Michigan is not the ideal location to boast your botanical skills.  Every Spring my perennials struggle to … be perennial.  It’s a painstaking quest to find suitable, hearty hybrids.

My maternal grandmother had an amazing peony garden. A few years back, I incorporated peonies into my landscape in her honor. And, they are still going strong.  So, I’m sowing some more. Hell, I posted her pancake recipe.  May as well cite her as the source for this post.

Peonies have often been called the divas of the Spring garden.  Ironically, my grandmother didn’t have a diva bone in her body.  But, she treated her peonies as such.


In the gardens of China, peonies were known as far back as 1000 BC and were very popular in the imperial gardens. The plant was put under imperial protection during the Tand dynasty. During the Sung dynasty, which began at the end of the tenth century, peonies had spread throughout China. As new dynasties began and emperors moved their courts, peonies were also moved, adding to the widespread cultivation.

At the beginning of the eighth century, peonies reached Japan which is now a major producer. It was not until 1789 that the first tree peony came to Europe. Initially European gardens included only herbaceous species.

As in the eastern world, peonies were originally cultivated in Europe for their medicinal value – used to treat headache, asthma, and childbirth pain. It was not until much later in history that peonies began to be grown in Europe solely for their ornamental qualities.


Growing up diva

  1. Peonies prefer a sunny location with well-drained soil.
  2. Good air circulation around the plant is also important.
  3. Proper growing conditions help peonies avoid their only serious disease problem: botrytis – a fungal diseases present in most soils.
  4. Kept in optimal conditions, a peony plant can live to be over 100 years old
  5. Ants play an important role in helping peonies bloom. When they climb inside the buds, they help them open.

29 ‘shades’ of peonies

The American Peony Society recognizes six broad categories.  However, there are up to 29 different hybrid/grafted varieties – usually limited to coral, numerous shades/intensities of pink, and white.

  • Duchesse de Nemours – the peony ‘standard’ – a 150 years old wedding staple – I do!
  • Garden Treasure  – the only lemon yellow  bloom – #garden diversity
  • Sarah Bernhardht – this heirloom variety dates back to 1906
  • Dr. Alexander Fleming – I got nothin’
  • Raspberry Sundae and Pink Parfait – no ice cream required

sleeping beauty tips

– In China, the petals are parboiled and sweetened for use as a tea-time delicacy, in summer salads, or as garnish for punches and lemonades.

– To maximize vase life – harvest when bud starts to show color, cut stems forearm length, wrap in newspaper and store flat in the refrigerator (thus the sleeping beauty reference). To rehydrate – trim stem and place in warm water.

– Golf ball-sized buds can yield flowers that are 8 inches across.

– Rinse the flower in soapy water before bringing inside.

peony punch

Apparently, whatever buds remain on a peony after harvesting, the plant transfers its energy accordingly. The resulting flower is quite robust.  If the peony plant can do that after 100 years, I’m going to parboil me some petals, baby.

Something to TALK About

So, let’s TALK about ‘The Life changing magic of not giving a fuck.

Giving a fuck means you care.  Furthermore, things that are cared about require your time, energy, and money.  Definitely not in that order, of course.  For me, everything is about money.  (I won’t go there right now because I want to streamline my synopsis.)  According to the TALKer, these three entities are your fuck budget. Calculated decisions go into how your time, energy, and money are spent.
 the TALKer
  • senior editor major publishing house
  • really, really unhappy
  • quit job – moved to tropical island to work for yourself

Good for her! (slight sarcastic tone implied) Otherwise, I’m just totally jealous.

 the TEDiphany
         removing yourself from what makes you unhappy opens new doors
This all happened because of mental decluttering – which is clearing out the brain of ‘the annoy‘ so there can be room for ‘the joy’ .

the NOT sorry meTED

  1. decide what you don’t give a fuck about
  2. don’t give a fuck
  3.  usually this would make you an asshole
However, if you use honesty and politeness you can be NOT sorry and NOT be an asshole.
my TALK  TEDitorial
 The first time I viewed this link, I was … conflicted. The message is basic and plausible.  Life is all about assessing priorities and figuring out the proverbial ‘fuck budget’. I get it.  Here’s the conflicted part – the majority of what was discussed pertained to work environments – “go to work, but don’t do the social event”.  To be perfectly honest, that’s pretty easy.  It’s when the every day events of your personal life get thrown in the equation that your budget gets … fucked.  If you think about it, Ms. Knight had the perfect situation to liberate herself – newly married and NO KIDS. Granted, she qualified this fact, acknowledging few can do what she did. But, she never addressed how to budget  personal commitments accordingly. By the way, that ‘annoy – joy’ bit is a little too much in my opinion.  Bottom line – when a familial unit is involved, obligation and guilt are present and need to be present.  If not, you ARE a should be sorry asshole.
Of course she wrote a book – three actually. I think.  Moreover, her connections from being a Senior Editor at a major publishing house made those books a reality. Good for her! (Once again – slight sarcastic tone AND lots of jealousy). Note – I have not read any of her books.  This commentary is based solely on the TALK.
Just for the record, I am often NOT sorry and quite honest and polite about that fact. Yet, I AM still an asshole.  I’m fine with it. Asshole kinda works for me.

 the TALK home message

     massive, liberating change that lasts forever
This musical selection has absolutely nothing to do with TED.  But, it truly is  Something to TALK About. 

Who is TED and why is he TALKing?

TED is a nonprofit devoted to spreading ideas, usually in the form of short, powerful talks (18 minutes or less). TED began in 1984 as a conference where Technology, Entertainment and Design converged, and today covers almost all topics — from science to business to global issues — in more than 100 languages. Meanwhile, independently run TEDx events help share ideas in communities around the world.

Our Mission: Spread ideas

TED is a global community, welcoming people from every discipline and culture who seek a deeper understanding of the world. We believe passionately in the power of ideas to change attitudes, lives and, ultimately, the world. On TED.com, we’re building a clearinghouse of free knowledge from the world’s most inspired thinkers.

TED is owned by a nonprofit, nonpartisan foundation. Our agenda is to make great ideas accessible and spark conversation

about TED

The link IS my cited source – cut and pasted right from the About tab, baby.  It has other information, of course.  But for blogging purposes, this is all that is relevant.

I first heard about TED from my children.  Luckily, it wasn’t in reference to a guy either of my girls wanted to date.  Not ready for that yet.  It took awhile to figure out what TED really was without asking too many questions.  I’ve learned that if a child is engaged in conversation with you as a parent, don’t ask too many questions. If you do, that conversation is doomed, man.

After that, I learned all I needed to know about TED.  My daughter actually forwarded me this TALK.  True story. I provided the link for two reasons.  First, it is the introductory idea for this bout of Nonsense. Besides, it’s interesting, yet frustrating.  Second, it’s your Mission. That is, if you choose to accept it. * Watch some, if not all. And, next post I will share my Random thoughts.

Exciting, eh?!

Probably not!

*Another Mission:Impossible movie is on tap for the summer.  I recently watched the trailer. So, I couldn’t resist.

MasterCard Moment – Hold On

number of days without phone service:   9

voice message statistics:   40* messages  –  191 hours 33 minutes. Oh, and, 17 seconds

longest hold time: 3 hours (that we know of)

the phrase – it’s a known problem and all available resources are working on it: priceless

My apologies for having another Moment this soon.  However, when the material presents itself, it NEEDS to be written.  And, this one really is priceless.

Winter Storm Xanto came to town.  It snowed from Friday night until at least Monday mid-day. Schools were closed on April 16.  I have no idea about snow accumulations.  I don’t care.  The totals that matter are included above.

Like other businesses on the same grid, our phone service was affected. And, that’s putting it lightly. Neither incoming nor outgoing calls could be received.  Bet yet, the Drive-Thru is wired into the intercom system. Translation: Keep on Driving. Thru. No one could even press the fucking ‘CALL’ button. Retail karma’s a bitch, eh?

I can’t make this shit up, man.  And, I write fiction. You would think in this day and age of technology this would never be an issue.  So what was the issue?

 ‘wet’ underground cable –  between two manhole covers – IS that term PC? – busy roadway – buried in 10 feet of snow pack – underground slopes – on-site generators – vacuum company – 2 feet sludge – maybe my job isn’t so bad – new cable ordered – probably from China – estimated delivery 5 days – cable installed – ticket closed –  Who am I kidding? My job really does suck

I realize that 40 messages over 9 days is minimal. Oh, and that * means the mailbox was full. Still, I don’t think that impacted the totals too significantly. Internet E-prescriptions have streamlined communication between pharmacies and prescribers.  So, we were able to process those prescriptions.  In the past, prescriptions were either given to the patient when seen in the office or phoned in.  If that were still the case, we would be under way more more than 2 feet of …  sludge.

I could continue ranting about how dumb this whole situation was – especially the customer that said she was on hold for 3 hours.  Instead, I decided to have some fun and searched all available resources to find musical selections pertaining to this known problem.

  1. Ring, Ring – ABBA
  2. Answer the Phone – Sugar Ray (Damn it!)
  3. Pick Up the Phone – Travis Scott and Falling In Reverse
  4. Don’t Pick Up the Phone – Kim Carnes – (I opt for this version, of course)
  5. Love on the Telephone – Foreigner (there never was before – after this, never will be either)
  6. Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepsen    (probs not – the video is creepy)
  7. Hold the Line – Toto
  8. Hold On – 24 different artists

 Technically, there were 25 songs with that title.  However, Little Anthony and the Imperials decided to be optimistic  with their rendition – Hold On (Just a Little Bit Longer).

Somehow, they knew that those resources really were working on it!

rethinking the reboot

I grew up watching more weekly television shows than most kids my age.  And, Saturday morning cartoons … . They were the bomb.  Over time, my viewing opportunities decreased, of course.  Though, I still loved the idea of watching a scheduled show. When you’re having a shitty week, knowing that there was something to get you through was nice. Even if it was a 30 minute sit-com.

As I aged even more, my habits changed accordingly.  I worked 2, if not 3, nights every week. And, Life happened. I attempted to tape/DVR certain shows.  Before long, I was so far behind, it was pointless to continue.

Which brings me to the latest television trend – binge watching.  I’m not wired for binge anything – not eating, not drinking, and definitely not watching television. Sounds boring, but I’m fine with it.

Speaking of trending television tendencies, rebooting old shows has become quite the thing to do.  I’ve always said that original ideas are hard to produce. Sustaining quality is even harder.  Therefore, it’s only natural that freshening up an old  network franchise would work.

Not always.

Charlie’s Angels

Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, and Lucy Liu had the perfect amount of ‘camp’ to pull off these movies.  The short-lived television reboot … didn’t.

Fuller House

The Bob Saget weekly fatherly ‘lessons’ set to music made me nauseous.  Why would I ever watch it again? Besides, those Olsen twins really weren’t that cute.

Will and Grace

never saw an episode – no real reason.


Not a big fan of Rosanne Barr back then.  Not a big fan of Rosanne Barr now, either.

Murphy Brown

The show ran from for 1988 to 1998 – 247 episodes. Over that 10 year run, the show highlighted a running ‘gag’.  Murphy Brown had a total of 93 secretaries – all referred to by number in the closing credits.

secretarial antics – Murphy Brown

Diane English, the series creator, wrote and director almost every episode in the first four years. Then, she departed the show to produce a spin off – which spiraled downward. Fast  Anyway, after she left, the quality of Murphy Brown took a major hit. Two words –  Dan Quayle – potatoes. Okay, that was technically three words.  About that same time,  I was looking for an out.  It was harder and harder to tune in.  I think I lasted the next season. Then, I was done.

Alas, 20 years later, a reboot is on tap.  Diane English is at the helm and Candice Bergen returns in the title role.  However, I probs won’t watch.  Bergen portrayed a strong, brash woman taking on, like, everyone – especially the system. Back then, it was funny. Now, that’s the LAST thing I want to watch. She’s older, and undoubtedly brasher.  Why would I ever willingly  listen to that?  I hate woman.  Truthfully, I hate everyone. But strong-willed women have really worn me down, man. So much so, that I’m not even curious to see how the whole secretary story line will be handled.

Secretary #94 – Dan Quayle?

“Tempting.  But no.”

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