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Today Thursday January 14, 2021 all three titles are FREE!
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It really is that simple!
Now for something that isn’t that simple. Think of it as a nursery rhyme for the ICD-10 challenged.


The Christmas tradition

Adele and the SNL crew may have been sidelined on Thanksgiving, but this postal tradition must prevail. Considering everything that’s happened this past year, I’m sure we’ve all experienced one, if not more, of the following ICD-10 codes. Since that’s probably the case, by all means, sing along.

  1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?
  2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are
  3. Dementia —I Think I’ll Be Home for Christmas
  4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
  5. Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and . . .
  6. Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
  7. Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
  8. Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why
  9. Attention Deficit Disorder — Silent Night, Holy OOOOOOOOh look at the Froggy, can I have chocolate, why is France so far away?
  10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell …

Ho – Ho – Ho Merry Christmas!

Santa’s Secret sockpile?

With Christmas right around the corner, I decided to suggest a possible option for those challenged for gift ideas.
Yeah, yeah, I should be blogging about stockings instead. So more appropriate. Socks are pretty damn close, though. And, if you continue reading, you will find out how close. Best of all, socks can be worn year round.

A mismatched pair of questions 

who invented socks?
Actually, no one really knows. Imagine that, eh?!
Why Are Socks Called Socks?
Socks were originally called stockings until the 17th century, when the term sock was derived from the Old English word socc, which meant “light slipper.” Both of these terms derived from the Latin root word soccus.
See, I blog responsibly.

a historical sockology

  • Socks first came into existence in the 8th century BC in Greece.  Their feet were wrapped in animal skins and then tied around their ankles and called pilo.
  • The Romans were the first to sew fabrics together to make socks, called udones., in the 2nd century (AD). These socks were both softer and more fitted.
  • By the 5th century (AD), socks had made their way up to Europe. These socks were called puttees and were considered a symbol of purity. These ‘puttees’ were made from cloth and wrapped around the ankle to the knee, similar to a bandage
  • After 5th century Europe, the next major change in the sock was the knitting machine, which was invented in 1589 and used silk, cotton, and wool.
  • Things stayed pretty static for a few more centuries. But, in 1938, things got really crazy when nylon was invented.
Footed in functionality

Socks were first invented with the simple intention to keep people’s feet warm and for protection from the elements –  especially frostbite.

 Soon, socks evolved from being a garment to protect feet into a symbol of wealth, worn only by nobility

 As the demand for socks began to rise, so did their prices. Socks became so expensive that they were mostly worn amongst noble families who were able to afford them. An individual spotted wearing a pair of socks was immediately associated with the upper class.

The fabrics used to create socks were also a symbol of the person’s wealth. While silk socks equaled wealth, socks made of wool were associated with poverty.

Shocking Stockings

During the Middle Ages, socks were ditched for their practicality and instead worn as an accessory.

Fast forward to this day and age, no one is practical. Socks are available in hundreds of colors and designs that can Rock around any Christmas tree.

Random Socknotes

  • In 2011, researchers established that the average four person family will lose 60 socks a year, racking up a total loss of £240 – approximately $291. Yeah, baby!
  •  82% of young men wear odd socks at least once a week – at least young men wear socks.
  • People who wear mismatched socks are more likely to be married – yet another reason for the high divorce rate.
Santa’s safe-bet Secret
Socks have a universal appeal, making them the best gift idea this time of year – Stocking stuffers, Secret Santa ideas – the opportunities are endless. In fact, there are probably more than one pair of socks available WITH actual white elephants. Hark! Even the Grinch needs to keep his feet warm.

Ho, ho, ho!

Happy Thanksgiving

Sorry, Adele.  I decided to change things up a bit this year. Quite frankly, Steve-O wouldn’t have it any other way.*

Gobble, gobble!

*a foreshadowed reference to my new project.

you’re welcome

A few weeks back, I worked with a manager from a different store. Somehow or another, she helped with a problem and I said thank you. She mumbled a response that was neither heard nor understood. I was busy. Also, when I hear mumbling, I just stop listening. I have no patience for that shit. But then, she continued and said something that I resonated loud and clear. Not only that, my interest was oddly piqued – she apologized for her mumbled response, paused, and offered a sincere ‘you’re welcome‘.
In an uncharacteristic move,  I inquired why the hell she was making such a projected fuss about the issue. Apparently, she recently viewed a TED TALK emphasizing the importance of saying ‘you’re welcome’ instead of the alternative, commonly accepted responses such as – no problem – fine – okay – etc. I’m a guy –  a guttural musing or similar type acknowledgement is more often than not grunted. The words ‘you’re welcome‘ are implied, of course, but hardly recognizable.
Over the next week or so, I realized how seldom I said those two simple words – you’re welcome. I pride myself in being properly mannered. Yet when thanked for something, I said everything but the customary response.
So, I decided to change. Contrary to popular belief, I am capable of doing such a thing. I must admit, it seemed rather odd at first. Now, however, ‘you’re welcome’ has become a natural tendency.
To be a responsible blogger, I tried to find the TED TALK that inspired this damn Random Nonsense of a post . My search was in vain. Oddly enough, all I could find were YouTube videos encouraging responses that were anything but ‘you’re welcome’.
Go figure, eh!?
I am old school. You’re welcome should be the proper response for a well-deserved Thank you. Hell, some people don’t even say that anymore.  Ye gads! What would Emily Post say?
Soon, Thanksgiving will be upon us. I decided to post this to pre-empt the annual holiday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, my order is totally messed up. I know. I still struggle with that whole timing thing, okay.  However, Thanksgiving has, and always will be, reserved for Adele and the Saturday Night Live cast. Considering this has been a cluster fuck of a year, blogging about You’re Welcome BEFORE Thanksgiving seemed appropriate.
Gobble, gobble?!

finally a ‘treat’

Considering all the ‘Tricks’ lately, here’s an early Halloween ‘Treat”.

Today Wednesday October 07, 2020. All titles are FREE.

Just click on any or all book icons to download the file.

No tricks – just treats.

By the way, I started reading my horrorscope again. Ugh! So dumb, I know. But, it’s all in good fun. Then again, this month’s ‘prediction’ opened with the following words –

if you thought 2020 couldn’t get any weirder, welcome to October.

Good Grief – I’m doomed!?

Marquee maxims and a DYI doodling

Over my many years of posting, I have presented those wonderful proverbs various local business marquees had to offer. I even took a walk on the wild side, throwing in the beguiling wisdom of billboards. Once, I got really risque and sighted the riddling magic that IS the bumper sticker.


Yes, I survived. Not that I am any wiser, mind you. Marquees, billboards, and bumper stickers (oh my!) – sorry, couldn’t resist – rarely induce deep thought  But, they provide a brief pondering and, more importantly, that much needed comic relief that is becoming sadly less abundant these days.

Recently, I was out and about town, running errands which ultimately lead me to two of the following maxims.  Sign lady may be gone. However, neither her nor her words are resting in peace. Be that as it may, Roy’s still boasts material to post. The second prompted me to go deep into the catacombs of rational Do It Yourself  yearnings of … mail delivery?

Hmm… .

With a lead-in hook like that, I have no other choice but to wax philosophically.

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Oddly enough, I never thought about it; few probably have. Why would you? Tarzan’s lack of facial hair isn’t discussed extensively in everyday conversation. Yes, the hair is long, But, there is No beard. So, I did what every respectable, lazy blogger does and googled it. According to Disney,  ‘The fact that Tarzan was beardless is because all sexy Disney leading men are clean-shaven.’
End of argument, right? Hell, this IS Disney. How can anyone question that reasoning?  Though it would be really, really funny if at least one the Tarzan movies premiered in … Noverbeard. (pun so intended)
I’m not letting Tarzan get off that easy. If we are putting that much thought into his appearance, his hair should technically be longer.  Like at least ten feet longer – and that’s being conservative. According to the American Academy of Dermatology, the average amount of hair growth in a year is 6 inches So, if the dude is in his  mid-twenties when Jane comes calling, that would be a lot more locks. Rapunzel would so be jelly.

Life is short – smile while you still have teeth

Contrary to what might be expected, this was not on a dental office marquee. It was an Insurance Broker. Go figure,eh!? With over thirty years of retail under my belt, I’ve seen people with no teeth smile. Yikes! Neglecting dental hygiene is highly over-rated.

Save the Mail! 
Alas, I come to my DYI doodling. As I drove by the Post Office on that fateful, yet postal inspiring day. (you guessed it, pun intended) I saw a man peacefully sitting in a lawn chair. Perched on his lap was a homemade sign that read – SaVe  tHE MAil. I think it was done in, you guessed it again, crayon.
Yeah, … .

Just because it is a new decade – ugh! And, such an exciting one at that – bigger ugh!! Here is a random jab, celebrating the occasion.  Unfortunately, the year isn’t even close to be over. biggest ugh of all!!!

The Year 2020 reviewed – one star – not recommended. 

As far as I’m concerned, one star is way generous.

FREE end of summer reads

Unfortunately, those beach days are dwindling down. So, I decided to have another promotion.  Celebrate those days that remain. Read!

Today, Friday August 14, 2020 all three titles are FREE.

Click the icon(s), download the book, and read.

Oh, and go to the beach!

Happy beaching!

I’d settle for a ‘yay’!

It’s a known fact, I know very little. Of the really important things, that is. I know very much about things that are unimportant.
For me, the majority of this stems from the fact that I was in that generation of good, old-fashioned television and equally good, if not better, movies. Oh, I read my share of books. And, actually graduated Pharmacy School.  Yeah, some people are still scratching their heads over that one. As far as those movies were concerned, they  were often very cheesy. But, they were still really, really good – just pure, simple fun.
This influenced my creativity tremendously.  Fundamentally, telling a story is pretty structured. Eventually, all story lines lead up to that final climactic moment where everything falls into place. You know that pivotal scene where what was lost or unrealized materializes. Then, in an epiphanic moment, the main character(s) shout the word … ‘Jumanji”. And, everything is, like, fucking awesome.
I AM waiting for my ‘Jumanji’.
Honestly, I’ve been waiting for some time. I’ve even documented my attempts at the almighty task here in some blogging fashion or another. Yet, try as I might,  the ability to shout that word has eluded me. I realize, of course, it really ISN’T that easy in a non-fictionalized existence. But, Life often imitates fiction, so this is totally feasible.  Right,? Alas, there is no team of screenwriters, conjuring up some fantastic plan that will make me scream with wild abandon when that moment arrives. I’m not sure if anyone, including myself, could handle that. Hell, I would be happy with a simple ‘yay’!.
insert – heavy sigh!
Sometimes, though, the decisions we make allow us to write our own screenplays. Recently, something happened that made me think  my chance had arrived. Over My Life as a Retail Pharmacist, I’ve helped numerous co-workers forge their way in a new direction – outside  this hell I call a profession. I did this without any ulterior motive whatsoever. Hell, if someone could actually get out – more power to them. If I could help, even better. Karma may be a bitch. But, you never know – that ‘bitch’ might help me sometime.  Unfortunately, that aforementioned chance kinda’ back-fired. It was more of a petered out, than a backfire, to be perfectly honest.
Oh, well. I’m not that concerned, though. Another opportunity will present itself sooner than later. My time will eventually come. Then, everything will be, like, fucking awesome.  And,  ‘Jumanji’ will be heralded loud and clear.

If only it were that easy, eh?!

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