#billowing smoke

Unsure whether I mentioned this before, but I can cook.  And, I love to do it.  I blame pharmacy, of course.  You know that whole compounding, organizational shit I often reference.  In this case, blaming my profession is a good thing.  Cooking is all about timing.  Once you have that down,no meal is impossible. In my opinion, a Thanksgiving feast is almost easier to execute than weekday suppers.

Only two things about cooking intimidate me.  The first is gravy.  Good gravy is hard to make.  I think it’s because it’s one of the last things to be prepared.  By that time, my patience is tapped.  All I want to do is eat.  Besides, gravy is very needy; too much undivided attention.

My second issue is grilling.  I’ve always been a below average griller.  We males have been cookin’ meat on an open flame since, like, caveman times.  Either I’m missing that gene or wasn’t given the ‘talk’.  The fact remains – my grilling skills could be better. Recently, I’ve experienced two words associated with grilling that are … concerning – grease fire.  Oh, yeah, baby, that flame was ‘this big‘ (hand motions included).  The smoke was actually billowing. Yes, I said billowing.  Very scary.  Luckily, I didn’t panic and contained the blaze successfully.

Baking soda is the most effective form of fire extinguisher; it quickly cuts off the oxygen supply to the flame. Keep a box or 2 in or near your grill station, as well as a fire extinguisher. Salt will also work in smothering a flame. DO NOT use flour, or water ever when you need to put out a grease fire. It will explode and can severely injure yourself and damage your home.

Grease fires are a rare and unexpected phenomenon and can happen to any griller on any grill, advanced or novice. But with proper maintenance of your grill, they should never happen to you. Just remember that you’re cooking with fire, so never leave your grill unattended. Besides, you don’t want to burn your steak do you?


Unfortunately, there was a mess to clean up.  That Easy Off method wasn’t as easy as the testimonial proclaimed.  Imagine that.  Instead of focusing on cleaning woes again, I feel the need to share my random thoughts about grilling.

  • I prefer side by side burners for indirect heat cooking.  That front-back set up is a pain in my ass.
  • during summer, I use the grill as an oven – I just center the top rack appropriately and I am good to go.
  • once used wood chips to smoke a turkey – a lot of work, but so well worth it
  • never did the beer can chicken … . Yet.  Though the closing-the-lid-over-an-upright-chicken-clearance concept  still puzzles me.
  • our first grill was a wedding present.  The funnest part was the dinner party we hosted to assemble it.

Lastly, I have never used the word ‘billowing’ to describe anything.  Quite frankly, I never want to use it again.  By the way, the smoke definitely got in my eyes.


Hotdogs anyone?

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