the lame lettuce post

Let me begin by saying, this is NOT another obsessive compulsion like that whole penny issue.  Consider it a … dietary choice.  Furthermore, I tried really, really hard to present this post in an engaging fashion.  Then realized – it just ain’t gunna happen.  Lame is the only appropriate adjective. Think about it, though.  There is nothing truly exciting about lettuce or this post for that matter.  But, the post must go on.

Recently, I’ve been avoiding sandwiches.  Not necessarily, ‘the sandwich’ itself, but the bread part.   Instead, I take  everything that would normally go on the sandwich and though it on a bed of lettuce.  Hell, the other day I even threw the chips on top.  And, … I liked it.

Just for the record, I still love my carbs, especially doughnuts.  And, I have cinnamon raisin toast every morning.  Be that as it may,  I’m diggin this whole lettuce thing – especially at work.  The using a fork concept is so much easier than double-fisting a sandwich only to have to put it down because some idiot has a question on suppository insertion.  I’m eating, okay?

Generally, there are  four categories of lettuces:

  1. looseleaf
  2. butterhead
  3. crisphead
  4. romaine

Of course, there are numerous subcategories.  One website claims there are actually seven different types.  I’m a pretty basic guy – four works for me.  I eat them all – even iceberg. insert gasp. Unfortunately,  the link below complicates everything you ever wanted to know about lettuce AND more.

Lettuce contains moisture, energy, protein, fat, carbohydrates, dietary fiber, and sugars. The minerals and vitamins found in lettuce  include calcium, iron, magnesium, phosphorous, potassium, sodium, zinc along with vitamins like thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, folate, vitamin B-6, C, A, E, and vitamin K.

Well, there you have it – my lame, little ditty about lettuce.  Luckily, I kept it short. I searched for ‘fun’ lettuce links, in an attempt to take this salad post to a Romaine level. Once again – lame.  Sorry.  Speaking of Romaine, I found poems written about lettuce ‘diversity’.  One in particular highlighted what it must be like to be Romaine AND the curse of being Iceberg. Hmmm … .  Compelling and socially relevant. (sarcastic tone implied)

a lettuce rap – pbs style

Unfortunately, Bert and Ernie don’t do lettuce (w)raps.

This last link is a painful dry-humored  video of Tom Green ordering a sandwich.   By the way, he likes his ‘greens’.

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