MasterCard Moment – Hold On

number of days without phone service:   9

voice message statistics:   40* messages  –  191 hours 33 minutes. Oh, and, 17 seconds

longest hold time: 3 hours (that we know of)

the phrase – it’s a known problem and all available resources are working on it: priceless

My apologies for having another Moment this soon.  However, when the material presents itself, it NEEDS to be written.  And, this one really is priceless.

Winter Storm Xanto came to town.  It snowed from Friday night until at least Monday mid-day. Schools were closed on April 16.  I have no idea about snow accumulations.  I don’t care.  The totals that matter are included above.

Like other businesses on the same grid, our phone service was affected. And, that’s putting it lightly. Neither incoming nor outgoing calls could be received.  Bet yet, the Drive-Thru is wired into the intercom system. Translation: Keep on Driving. Thru. No one could even press the fucking ‘CALL’ button. Retail karma’s a bitch, eh?

I can’t make this shit up, man.  And, I write fiction. You would think in this day and age of technology this would never be an issue.  So what was the issue?

 ‘wet’ underground cable –  between two manhole covers – IS that term PC? – busy roadway – buried in 10 feet of snow pack – underground slopes – on-site generators – vacuum company – 2 feet sludge – maybe my job isn’t so bad – new cable ordered – probably from China – estimated delivery 5 days – cable installed – ticket closed –  Who am I kidding? My job really does suck

I realize that 40 messages over 9 days is minimal. Oh, and that * means the mailbox was full. Still, I don’t think that impacted the totals too significantly. Internet E-prescriptions have streamlined communication between pharmacies and prescribers.  So, we were able to process those prescriptions.  In the past, prescriptions were either given to the patient when seen in the office or phoned in.  If that were still the case, we would be under way more more than 2 feet of …  sludge.

I could continue ranting about how dumb this whole situation was – especially the customer that said she was on hold for 3 hours.  Instead, I decided to have some fun and searched all available resources to find musical selections pertaining to this known problem.

  1. Ring, Ring – ABBA
  2. Answer the Phone – Sugar Ray (Damn it!)
  3. Pick Up the Phone – Travis Scott and Falling In Reverse
  4. Don’t Pick Up the Phone – Kim Carnes – (I opt for this version, of course)
  5. Love on the Telephone – Foreigner (there never was before – after this, never will be either)
  6. Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepsen    (probs not – the video is creepy)
  7. Hold the Line – Toto
  8. Hold On – 24 different artists

 Technically, there were 25 songs with that title.  However, Little Anthony and the Imperials decided to be optimistic  with their rendition – Hold On (Just a Little Bit Longer).

Somehow, they knew that those resources really were working on it!

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