A few years back, I worked with a technician that was rather odd. Well, all the technicians I work with are odd. This one, though, was way out there. Be that as it may, we worked well together. I guess you can read into that all you want about me, of course. However, I will choose the high road here, focusing on my ability to ‘adapt to varying working conditions’. After twenty-five fucking years of doing this shit, I’d better be able to adapt or I’m screwed.
Anyway, one day, I think it was a Friday, we were both really ready for the weekend and very slap-happy. Immediately after opening, we both had our share of ‘interesting’ interactions with customers. Thankfully, we were both so loopy we shrugged everything off with a chuckle. Then after a woman made one of us mad, the cuss words started and we laughed even more.
“I think we should end every sentence we say with the word bitch,” the technician exclaimed as if never before being struck by such an epiphanatic idea..
“Works for me, … bitch,” was all I needed to say.
It was hilarious. Even better- IT GOT US THROUGH THE DAY! Sometimes, that’s the only goal. Granted the majority of the customers that day were women and they were, in fact, all bitches. The few men who came in were even bitches. Putting ‘asshole’ at the end of male referenced sentences just didn’t work. So, bitch it was.
Originally, I categorized this post as a ‘burning question’. Upon review, I realized that what I wrote wasn’t really a question. It is more of a “this is how he should’ve responded” or this is what I would’ve said if I WERE BODE MILLER BEING INTERVIEWED BY CHRISTIN COOPER AFTER WINNING BRONZE IN THE SUPER G.
“Shut the fuck up, BITCH.”
Really, what was the point of that interview? Bode is like, wow, in the dude category. One Olympics is an accomplishment, but what he has done is beyond amazing. To be interviewed in such a way after such a monumental triumph… . Well, it’s just wrong.
Once again – “Shut the fuck up, bitch.”
And what about Andrew Weibrecht, the poor guy standing next to Bode while the interview was taking place? He actually won the Silver medal. Ugh!
Oh well, I’m done ranting for now. I’m done with the Olympics, too. Luckily, the closing ceremonies are soon. I’ve never been a big sports thug. Now I know why – those announcers just suck.
P.S. – Don’t even get me started on Bob Costas.
