So, my wife and I are huge greeting card freaks. In other words, I buy and send a shit load of cards. So much so, that I should have stock in Hallmark, but I just never got around to it. Though I’m certain there’s a section of cards for that. Those on the coveted mailing list really do appreciate receiving the cards; primarily birthday and anniversary. The nice thing is, sometimes it promotes a return note or even a phone call. Regardless, it’s much nicer than getting another bill.
Personally I usually gravitate toward those cards that are ‘Simply Stated’. I can’t even browse the ‘Between You and Me’ section without either coffee, alcohol or both. Those cards are like novels – it’s like get to the point, already.
Since Mother’s Day is right around the corner, I found myself down the aisle doing the annual deed. What I found, though, was … unsettling. Shoebox is a subsidiary of Hallmark. Usually this line of cards pushes the envelope, pun intended and unintended; sometimes raunchy, mostly just fun. I have often purchased cards from this line. Be this as it may, the offerings from Shoebox for Mother’s Day were borderline offensive. It’s Mother’s Day. That’s like the pedestal of Hallmark holidays. To commemorate the sanctity of the occasion with the ‘greetings’ below is just wrong. Fathers take a lot of shit and sometimes for good reasons, especially if said father is the ‘baby daddy’ type. Thus chiding them is funny. Lately, some mothers that I see at the pharmacy and hear about on the news are disturbingly questionable. But come on … . It’s still Mother’s Day!
A Mother’s love never fails
but Birth Control does. Happy Mother’s Day from your “LITTLE ACCIDENT”
A world without moms is a world that would suck
thanks for making my world a better place – Happy Mother’s Day
Being a mom is the Best thing that you can’t undo
ever
By the way, that last entry didn’t even say Happy Mother’s Day anywhere on the card.
I’ve often said my sense of humor has been sucked dry from working retail. So,I find great solace in ‘the raunchy comedy that is life’ . However, none of those Shoebox sayings are remotely humorous to me, jaded as I am.
Therefore, I will choose the high road here, ending with ‘Simply Stated’ message –
Happy Mother’s Day
