The Adam Thomas Christmas Tradition

Deck the Halls of New Age societal freaks and their need to label everything. Or re-label everything. First,  there was that uncoupling nonsense. Now, there is – wait for it – polyamory. So dumb.

Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the consent of all partners involved. It has been described as “consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy”.

Basically, it’s dating. Just re-labeled. Once again – so dumb. From a guys perspective, that whole non-committal thing is a very nice arrangement. Unfortunately, when the ‘rules’ change someone, probably the woman, is NOT going to be happy. Not sure what that term will been renamed. But, I can guarantee it will resemble one of these conditions listed below.  And, if it’s Christmas time, caroling by the emotionally disturbed will be Harked. They won’t be Angels. But, they will be heralding. Something.

I realize this was not the best lead in for presenting my annual list of those Psychologically Challenged Christmas Carols.  Still, it’s makes you Wonder (as you Wander) if this List will be checked twice then updated accordingly. By the way, I checked – it hasn’t. Yet.

Regardless of your relationship status, feel free to sing along. I’m sure one, if not more, tunes are applicable.

  1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?
  2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are
  3. Dementia —I Think I’ll Be Home for Christmas
  4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
  5. Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and . . .
  6. Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
  7. Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
  8. Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why
  9. Attention Deficit Disorder — Silent Night, Holy OOOOOOOOh look at the Froggy, can I have chocolate, why is France so far away?
  10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell …

Merry Christmas!

Honestly, I’m not a fan of this song. Much to this Little Drummer Boy’s dismay, the  ‘extended’ ending in this version is totally  polyamoriclly correct. Hohoho, no – What would Mariah Carey say?

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