I’m swimming again.

Years ago, I blogged about this activity and my history with it so I won’t reiterate that Nonsense. Besides, things have changed — especially my pool. Previously, I swam at a gym that shared their pool with the local hospital rehabilitation service. Water therapy is an amazing avenue for low-resistance training. That gym has changed hands over the last few tears. The upkeep and liability of having a public pool is a huge responsibility. Alas, the new owners decided to cement the pool and make an aerobics room.

heavy sigh AND long pause

Fortunately, I was good on my end: I had no time to swim. It sounds dumb — the actual activity takes less than 30 minutes, but the process of doing it is so much more involved. Sometimes just the thought of getting the damn trunks on and diving in the pool was reason enough to head to the gym for a workout instead. After my hip surgery, I decided to start swimming again to aide my recovery. Thankfully, that road was smooth  — my hips didn’t lie or let me down. Still, I wanted something new to spice up the workout routine. The local YMCA  pool was primarily salt water with the slightest hint of chlorine to keep up with code. Sweet!!! No more smell, no more dry skin, AND no more icky hair.

Unfortunately, it was the ‘Y” — joining came with a hefty  monthly fee and I often have to share my lane. I don’t like to share. Worse, hardly anyone knows the fucking definition of lap swimming. NOTE: the word FLOAT is nowhere to be found. Ugh! it’s so frustrating. I want to swim to decrease stress. Having some old person float or, worse,  kids playing in the deep end does NOT qualify as lap swimming. Even more worse – no one seemed to care.

Well, I do.

Believe me when I say, whomever shares a lane with me soon moves. I swim with a purpose. And I probably radiate ripples of anger that choke anyone in close proximity. Who knew my asshole aura would work even when wet?! Then again, I make a lot of … waves! Literally. I am not one who can dive in a pool and swim twenty lengths at a time without stopping. I get bored rather quickly. So, to shake up my workout I do a modified version of an Individual Medley. For those that don’t swim an IM is a combination of all four strokes: butterfly, back, breast, and free. To warm up, I do freestyle in place of fly for a few sets. Then, I am all in, baby. Let me tell you, no one messes with someone who does butterfly. It’s a statement stroke.

Please know, my intentions are pure. I want to swim simply because it’s a wonderful sport with even more wonderful cardo and physiological benefits. Furthermore, my workout remains the same regardless of how may other swimmers, or floaters, are in the pool.

Well, my Random Nonsense of a rant is over. If I continued, I would definitely become waterlogged!