Consider the following recipe –
Ingredients:
1 package vanilla organic cake mix 1 pint whipping cream
1 package pistachio pudding 1 package pistachio pudding
3/4 cup oil (cutting with applesauce works well) 1 cup milk
3 eggs
1 cup club soda – lots of fizz
1 cup chopped walnuts
Mix ingredients, folding in walnuts – bake at 350 time dependent on pan selection. For the frosting – add milk to pudding, mix until uniform – let set for 3 minutes. Beat whipping cream, then fold in pudding.
Yes, this is a recipe for a PISTACHIO cake. It turns out green and St.Patrick’s Day IS fast approaching. I figured it was appropriate. I am Irish, you know. Really, I’m a mutt, but there is definitely Irish decent. I’ve had L.I.D.S. since, like, birth. And, the last post was about tea. What better follow-up than a serving of … green cake?
Consider the following ingredients –
INGREDIENTS: SUGAR, MODIFIED CORNSTARCH, ALMONDS, CONTAINS LESS THAN 2% OF ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, DISODIUM PHOSPHATE AND TETRASODIUM PYROPHOSPHATE (FOR THICKENING), SALT, PISTACHIOS, ARTIFICIAL COLOR, MONO- AND DIGLYCERIDES (PREVENT FOAMING), YELLOW 5, BLUE 1,BHA AS A PRESERVATIVE, YELLOW 6
This was copied/pasted from the pistachio pudding box. Sorry about the all caps thing. I was lazy and didn’t feel like transposing.
Consider the following question –
Why are there NO fucking pistachios in this PISTACHIO cake?
Okay, okay, there is mention of the word pistachio in the ingredients of the pudding. Still, it’s the eighth ingredient listed AND it’s less than 2%.
If you think about it, there really is no other appropriate name for this cake. It’s green and it contains pudding of the same name. But really, a pistachio cake without pistachios?
Consider the following explanation –
Traverse City is a ‘foodie’ destination. Personally, I think ‘foodie’ is a dumb word, but everyone knows the meaning, so I concede.
In the heart of this town of eclectic cuisine is Lobdell’s: A Teaching Restaurant ( the Great Lakes Culinary Institute ).
https://www.nmc.edu/resources/lobdells/
Since this is a school, knowledgeable resources are available to answer random baking questions. Luckily, the culinary resource available when I called was a dude who really knew his … cake.
- walnuts have the same flavor profile as pistachios
- walnuts are an oily, fibrous nut ; therefore much better to bake with – pistachios are not
- pistachios are very expensive
When the culinary dude asked what the cake base contained, I was embarrassed, to say the least. The recipe calls for a box mix. Yeah, I probs should’ve hung up immediately. He was polite though, stating that he never uses box mixes. Imagine that. Furthermore, when he bakes something pistachio, he uses pistachio paste. I was humbled by the inferiority of my existence. Nonetheless, I expressed appreciation for his time and thorough answer.
Consider the following ‘tudes –
Pistachio cake is my youngest brothers favorite dessert. However, he will only eat my sister’s recipe. (insert: sarcastic mumbling about sibling rivalry) My cake will always be better, of course. For all I know, her directions probably substitute pecans for pistachios. I think she needs to check her ‘nut’ flavor profile, eh? (insert: more sarcastic mumbling).
