a couch potato therapy session

In conversation a few weeks back, the topic of couples counseling was mentioned.  Don’t worry, this post is NOT about that.  Thankfully! Anyway, this dude’s friend was in a session with his wife.  By the way, there really was a dude who had a friend who had a wife. I’m fifty-one years old and I’m a guy.  I no longer talk third person hypothetically about my problems. Hell, I didn’t even do that at twenty-five.  If I have a problem with something, it’s usually pretty obvious.

The therapist asked the couple to think of a television show that best described their spouse.  The parameters of the request were vague – the details lost in translation.  Regardless, the integrity of the question remained – describe your spouse as a television show.

While the husband thought about his response, the wife immediately spoke up.  “That’s easy,” she answered, rather matter of factly.  “My husband is the static that used to appear on the screen when the reception failed.”


Needless to say, that couple did get divorced.  Though I’m not thinking ‘static’ IS a television show.  Be that as it  may, they had some issues.

I thought this was an interesting subject.  And, since this blog is all about me, I decided to ‘analyze’ myself .. as a television persona.  Back in May 2014 I posted about people as cartoon characters (you remind me of… .).  I was compared to Barney Rubble, Professor Doofenschmirtz, and Ivan the Ape.

 Unfortunately, I am not up on current t.v. shows.  Between working retail hours, hockey, and everything else family life entails, I have little time to watch anything scheduled.  Therefore my options of character choices are limited AND dated.  Also, I have a PRF – Professional Resting Face that can be rather salty and unapproachable that STAYS at the pharmacy. So, analyzing me as a complete package cam be … complicated.  Imagine that, eh?

According to …

… my sister, I remind her of Ross from  Friends.  I strongly disagree.  I am not that needy.  Or annoying – at least I hope not.  On the contrary, I am quite self-sufficient.  Luckily no one else shared her view. He was good for a laugh though.

… numerous others who will remain anonymous, I AM  House –the title character from the show with the same name.  I never watched, but heard he had an even worse PRF that carried over into his personal life.  Furthermore, I ain’t no genius. 


Television characters I thought were suitable versions of myself …

… Chris in the morning from Northern Exposure  – I loved this show.  Chris played a radio personality that often rambled on about … nonsense. And, it WAS quite random.  Granted his offerings where profound and a lot less … angry.  Remember, he was a fictitious character that didn’t work retail pharmacy. Okay?

… Murphy Brown from Murphy Brown – Candice Bergen totally owned this character.  She was quite outspoken.  I can be rather outspoken myself.  Unfortunately, I am not as eloquent or intelligent as this character was written.  She had secretaries – I have technicians.  Ugh!

So, Who AM I … 

… Monica from Friends.  I never had the weight issue and she was a bit more neurotic. However, the other personality traits … .

Unfortunately, couch time IS up.  Session over.  Besides, this post topic has closure.

I’m really NOT that competitive, but … .

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