Welcome to the Grand Cliche’

Consider the follow statements:

  • “It’s a known problem.  All available resources are working on it.”
  • … appreciates everyone’s understanding of their need for privacy at this time.” Angelina Jolie – a statement released
  • I’m just happy to be here.  Hope I can help the Ball Club.”

Bull Durham ‘cliches’

What’s really being said:

  • “You’re fucked.  No one is going to help.  No one really cares.”
  • “It’s none of your damn business.”
  • “I so deserve this.  Hmm…  I wonder what endorsements I can snag.  How’s my hair?”

Oddly enough people don’t want to hear what’s really being said.  Instead, these generalized cliches of well-being satisfy inquiry, calming situations with ease.  How does this happen?

I have no fucking clue.  But I want a piece of action.



Life IS all about being prepared.  Seldom, though,  am I ever prepared.  Especially for life’s ‘special’ moments when my guard is down.  So, I fuck up.  A lot.  Even worse, I know I’ve fucked up, saying what I really wanted to say.  Even, even worse.  I continue to talk.  Immediately, I transform into this, … this bumbling idiot simply because I wasn’t  prepared for an awkward inquiry in an unsuspecting place.

Until now.

First, let me qualify something.  I really don’t care what people think.  But I am tried of being that  bumbling idiot. Recently, I was clued in on this use of  cliches for self-preservation technique by a dear friend of mine.  It seemed simple enough.  When I thought about it, I already used these ‘statements’ at work.  Retail pharmacy loves branded salutations.  Since I am the model employee, I, ah, modified corporate’s version. The “it’s a known problem.” works amazingly well.  Oh, one more secret.  Along with being prepared with the proper arsenal of verbiage, composure is of utmost importance.  Delivery needs to be spot on.

Grand Illusion

That’s really what this whole concept is – an illusion. But whose illusion is it? Once again, no fucking clue. Not mine. YET!  But, I have learned that saying what was really being said has way too many ramifications at times.  Luckily, the cliche’ fixes it all.

So bring it. I may be an old dog, but this is one trick I will learn.

Welcome to MY Grand Illusion


This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Both comments and trackbacks are currently closed.