This is how I got through my last 12 hour day, short staffed, on only 3 hours of sleep AND my BF RPh from another store was ON VACATION.
9am – I CAN do this. False optimism, wishful thinking, suppressed denial – Hmmm… . Ask me at 9pm.
10am – Doughnut WITH sprinkles. Mandatory for every 12 hour day regardless of circumstances.
11am – “I’m on vacation and … .” Shut the fuck up and go back home. By the way, cowboy hats in Northern Michigan look really stupid.
12pm – Ring. Ring. “The store across town isn’t answering the phone. Could you please call there and have someone call me back?” No! End call. Saying good-bye is so overrated.
1pm – Comment about my lack of enthusiasm when I tell a customer to ‘have a nice day’. Okay, then. ‘Fuck off and go away.’ Is that better?
2pm – Twenty-something white male – ?- with freakish hair AND a butterfly tattoo ON HIS NECK asks where the douches are located. Two thoughts – look in the mirror and ask the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and see how well that goes.
3pm – Half way there. Unsettling, random thought on the state of health care attitudes – Does anyone ever get better? Does anyone want to?
4pm – Ring. Ring, “I’m here for the summer and need a prescription filled, but it’s complicated.” Two words – indefinite Hold.
5pm – When I say, “I’ll be with you in a moment.” It is NOT an invitation to continue speaking.
6pm – “Where are the Preparation H and condems located?” Aisle 5 – next to the catheters for sick chickens.
7pm – I hate everyone. I could probably use another doughnut right about now.
8pm – Ring. Ring, “Are you still open?” Why do you think I’m answering the phone?
9pm – All of the above.
Now about that Monkey reference … .
