This is a bumper sticker I’ve seen around town that caught my attention. And, it’s all true.  If you’re talkin’ protein maybe not, but… .

Anyway, I have two staple favorites but they’re  from different establishments.  Why wouldn’t they be from different establishments? First of all, it’s me AND secondly its doughnuts.  Once you find the right doughnut at the right place … well there’s nothing left to say.  Though there are times when I deviate from the norm.  You know walk the wild side, especially in the fall when pumpkin is involved.

Favorite number one is a yellow caked with chocolate frosting from Potter’s Bakery in town.  Fanny and/or Marie always make sure to give me the one with the most frosting and the best sprinkles.  Christmas sprinkles really make me happy.  By the way, milk goes best with this doughnut.

My other ‘go to morning binge’ is a nutty doughnut from Oleson’s.  This has become my more frequent fix because the store is located right next to my daughter’s school and it is on my way to work.  The Morning  Scramble* is usually tight.  Besides, nutty doughnuts go best with coffee.  Which is more of the norm for the morning anyway.

Now the reason for this rambling –

A few days back, I was having a rough morning – I slept shitty, I had to go to work , and I was pissed about having to deal with something I didn’t want to deal with.  A doughnut was definitely in order.   I usually eat my doughnut BEFORE I get into work.  I like to enjoy my doughnuts, eating them uninterrupted.  Being caught in mid-bite by some old hag waving a prescription in your face can really kill the moment. If you know what I mean.  Since it was a rough morning, there was no time.  So I gathered my things and made my way into the store.  However, as I rounded the aisle, the unthinkable happened.

My doughnut fell out of my bag, landed on the floor, and rolled at least ten feet in front of me.  Yes, I wanted to cry.  Actually I think I did, but I was too sucked dry to shed a tear.  So I did what any pathetic, broken man would do – I swore a lot.  Then I picked it up and tossed it back in the bag.  After I settled in the pharmacy and caught my breath, I sighed heavily.   None of that diaphragmatic breathing shit here, folks.  I sighed big time.  Then I stared at the doughnut, reliving the horrid scene, thinking about the filth that was ON THAT FLOOR.  I sigh again.  “Fuck it,” I said and I ate the damn thing in four bites.  Yes, I tried to brush it off a bit, but realized it really didn’t matter. Worse things have happened.

There you have it,  my semi-humorous doughnut anecdote. I do have one last bit of doughnut news to share.  Down in Clare, MI there was a bakery ‘icon’ that was struggling; weeks from closing.  Nine of the local police officers banded together and saved the establishment, renaming it  Cops and Doughnuts .  Check it out.  I can guarantee it’s probably a  safe  bet.

*The Morning Scramble is the name of the restaurant from my e-novel My Life As A Retail Pharmacist – A Fictionalized Memoir.


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