knock, knock

You may laugh more in the next fourteen days than you have during any comparable fourteen -day period since you were five years old.  At least I hope you will.  It will be the best possible tonic for your physical and mental health.  Even more than usual, laughter has the power to heal your wounds, alert you to secrets hiding in plain sight, and awaken your dormant potentials.  Luckily, I suspect that life will conspire to bring about this happy development.  A steady stream of antics and whimsies and amusing paradoxes is headed your way.  Be alert for opportunities.

That was my horoscope for the week of Sept 21 – Sept 27.  The dude who penned the above prediction, Rob Brezsny, is quite … different in his weekly offerings.  To be perfectly honest, I enjoy his odd, yet often profound insights.  Yes, it’s still reading a horoscope, I get that.  But when the observation provided is presented as such, I’m gonna stop and … laugh a bit.  Mr. Brezsny is correct – I do need to laugh more.

Unfortunately during this fourteen day stretch, I failed.  Don’t get me wrong, I had my share of ‘life conspiracies’ and ‘amusing paradoxes’.  And, yes I did chuckle at the irony.  But saying I laughed more than when I was five would be slightly incorrect.  I’m not sure I remember five that well.  Be that as it may, I tried though.  Really.  However, retail pharmacy kinda numbs the ability to laugh outwardly at ‘antics’ and ‘whimsies’.  If I laughed, I would probably be fired.  Hmmm … .  Tempting, but not wise at this time.


(By the way, this is better than a ‘a man walks into a bar’ joke.)

A woman walked up to the consultation window.

May I help you,” I asked as politely as humanly possible.

Yes, I have a sick chicken,” she responded gravely, then continued.  “And, I need a lubricant so I can cath  my chicken.”

Since I have never had to catheterize a chicken before, I knew little about this topic.  However, being the staunch professional I am, I instructed her that “all available  lubricants are down aisle 5.”

She thanked me and was on her way.

Yes, once she left I tried to enjoy the moment, but there were three other people in line that were irritated that she even asked a question, regardless of its content.  Come on, “I have a sick chicken???”  That’s some funny shit, man.  BUT I COULDN’T LAUGH!  See the dilemma here?  Furthermore, trying to laugh about the ‘silly woman and her damn chicken’ two hours later is pointless.  Don’t even get me started on my futile attempts to recreate the scenario for co-workers and a possible stand-up routine.  Three words – lost in translation.

So, what do I do?

I’m still trying to figure that out.    In the mean time, if you know any good knock, knock jokes send ’em my way.  Remember, I need to be ‘alert for opportunities’.

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