I hate weeds.
In fact, I spent over an hour and a half Saturday afternoon pulling the damn things from my lawn. It was oddly therapeutic, though. And, that ‘snap’ that I heard when I got the root just right … . Quite satisfying. Hmm… . I still hate weeds. Last summer, I was inspired by dandelions to pen a post. But my timing was off – always is. When the idea actually formed into a reasonable draft, it was almost fall. You see, I was trying to be too metaphorically about the ‘concept’, attempting to correlate weeds and negative thoughts into unrambling, yet still random nonsense. Ugh! Fuck that shit. That was (trying to be) Zen, this is now.
I hate weeds.
Here are some interesting facts about the dandelion flower:
- The dandelion is the only flower that represents the 3 celestial bodies of the sun, moon and stars. The yellow flower resembles the sun, the puff ball resembles the moon and the dispersing seeds resemble the stars. This is exactly why I didn’t want to be ‘metaphorical’; so blatantly obvious, yet rhetorically special don’t you think. (sarcasm intended on the ‘rhetorically special’ part, of course). No doubt a woman probably wrote this factoid.
- The dandelion flower opens to greet the morning and closes in the evening to go to sleep. So fucking adorable, isn’t it? I think a children’s book about a dandelion with allergies is a great idea. (more sarcasm)
- Every part of the dandelion is useful: root, leaves, flower. It can be used for food, medicine and dye for coloring. In my opinion, nothing about a dandelion is useful.
- Up until the 1800’s, people would pull grass out of their lawns to make room for dandelions and other useful “weeds” like chickweed, malva, and chamomile. My neighbor does this. Weirdo. I’ve often thought he was from another … era. Or planet, for that matter.
- Dandelions have one of the longest flowering seasons of any plant. Of course they do. My tulips only bloom for, like, 5 days. If that. These damn things last for, like, ever.
- Seeds are often carried as many as 5 miles from their origin. Fortunately, seeds don’t have to travel too far to reach my lawn. Location, location, location, eh? Ugh!
before the Stones really started Rolling
I feel somewhat bad that I presented two negatively charged posts back to back. In my defense, they are both … kinda funny. Please be a bit forgiving when reading, okay? I promise to be more positive in the next post. As a matter of fact, I will close with a not so wise, not even close to being Chinese, ‘proverb’ to ponder.
Few weeds a healthy lawn has
– modern weedman observation
Fuck it – I hate weeds.
