nice one, Dad

What did the pillow say when it fell off the bed?
     Oh, sheet!
With the onslaught of holiday parties and family gatherings over the next few weeks, jokes will be told. Hell, jokes NEED to be told. Holiday parties and family gatherings can be painful.  Joke telling breaks the proverbial ice.  Actually, the alcohol is what really gets things started. After that, everything is funny – even the dreaded dad joke.
I’ve been a dad for twenty years and never heard of the term until recently. No surprise there – I rarely get out.  And, if I’m hosting an event, I’m usually in the kitchen.  It works for me.  Bonus – I’ve never had any of my children say the words, ‘nice one, Dad’.
How do you make a Kleenex dance? 
     Put a little boogie in it.
  •  dad joke (noun) – an unoriginal or unfunny joke of a type supposedly told by middle-aged or older men.    That’s me – unoriginal, unfunny, AND middle-aged. 
  • a true dad joke is provoked by his kids’ behavior or a question, often making fun of their kids for being whiny and needy.   More often than not, the parents are much more needy than their children, yielding a whole new meaning to – the jokes on them, eh?
  •  a dad joke is not the answer the kid wanted, but it’s the truth.   People just ‘can’t handle  the truth’.
  • Dad jokes are knowing.   As far as I’m concerned, this is way too analytical for a dad joke.  
  • The key component of the dad joke is not answering the question or answering with nebulous misdirection.   I have no idea what ‘nebulous’ means, but I’m thinking it could explain some things.  And, trust me, I’m reminded every day about ‘misdirection’ .
Our wedding was so beautiful,  even the cake was in tiers.
Of course there’s a website.  Why wouldn’t there be?  But, hey, it’s fun.  The majority of dads get no respect, so let them have something.  Penning good material is hard.  And, the audience can be even harder.  If you’re going to attempt the party stand up routine – Be prepared.
“Sometimes a joke will just float into my head, fully formed, as though someone’s whispered it in my ear (note: not in a creepy way).”
Most times, they don’t.  So, what’s a dad supposed to do? My first and only thought would be to – Shut the fuck up.  Rarely do people listen though.  Just because I strive to present my blog randomness with the utmost completeness, I searched for ways to take an awful joke idea and make it into an even awfuller joke.  According to How to Build a Joke, Demetri Martin dissects the art of building the one-liner.  These tips help even the worst comic ‘wanna dad’ to ultimately get … the last laugh.
  • taking an idea about something that is funny, yet uncertain on how to articulate it
  • identify the elements of the joke and ponder how those elements go together
  • to perform the joke, add another layer – drawings, props
“I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. Especially if your teammates are bad guessers.”
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