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It’s that time of year for road trips. For me, seven hours or less one way is ideal. Once you get passed that, it’s no longer an extended weekend excursion. I often thought having two additional drivers on road trips made driving more manageable. Sadly, I was wrong. Those additional drivers no longer wanted to go on family outings. Work schedules complicated planning. And … .
Actually, I travel less this time of year. I live in the ultimate summer destination. Why would I want to go elsewhere? Probably to get away from everyone else coming to the ultimate summer destination. Doesn’t really matter – I get little time off during July/August. Besides, the majority of my vacation days are reserved for travel hockey the other ten months of the year.
Over five years of travel hockey, I’ve become quite the proverbial road map. Fortunately, this blog has served to highlight several of those events – MasterCard Moments. It’s been quite fun. In fact, I even decided to dedicate a post to highway travel and those signs that … guide.
So, here it is. Fasten those seat belts. I promise nothing posted here will induce car sickness. Well, not intentionally. Though, if you do get sick reading this post, that’s your own damn fault.
DETOUR
Below are a few staple items I need to ensure an uneventful trip.
bubble gum – always have a stash in the glove compartment. Hmm… . Maybe I should rephrase that. Regardless, I learned that gum chewing decreases the yawn complex. Who’d a thunk that, eh?
pbj – never go anywhere without a pbj, baby. Pitch the sandwich bag on the floor – good for another 100 miles. Unless I have to pee, of course.
MapQuest – still don’t trust that GPS. Remember that whole Canadian map fiasco back in December? Besides, I’m totally old school. I like having a hard copy of directions to my destination.
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Here are a few of my favorite highway signs; for various reasons. Some of those reasons are obvious. Some, … not so much.
SPEED LIMIT 75 – the speed limit in most of Michigan changed from 70 to 75 AFTER hockey season was over. Go figure.
KEEP RIGHT EXCEPT TO PASS – I hate people who camp out in the left lane. So frustrating. Get the fuck over, bitch.
BRIDGE ICES BEFORE ROAD – even in summer, this sign scares the shit out of me; some latent form of PTSD related to customer service no doubt.
NO U TURN – the Rule of the Road I break most often. Other than speeding, that is. I even banged a U-ey on an exit once. Don’t ask. Probably not my best idea, okay. But remember – a hockey road trip is not a hockey road trip until at least one ‘Rule’ is broken.
ROUGH ROAD AHEAD – Rarely did I run in to this sign while driving – thankfully. Though I think it’s a permanent fixture on that other ‘road’ . Unfortunately, there is never a WARNING designating said fucking ‘bumps’.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLm3HMG8IhM
Well, there’s my Ode. Think of it as a postal SCENIC OVERLOOK. (Pause) Sorry, that was a bit cheesy. Oh, well … . Just know, I hope all who travel in these remaining days of summer are safe and happy.
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