I’m referring to the light switch that is Traverse City, MI in the summer, of course.  The retailers are thankful.  It was a very long winter.  Shit some of the trees don’t even have leaves yet; buds yes, leaves no.  Unfortunately the locals had no time to enjoy their town before the summer invasion started either.  We totally skipped May and went right to mid-June.  I’m not complaining, though.  I’ve had good timing with my yard work.

That being said, I am NOT looking forward to anything that resembles the following conversation:

Hi, I’m here from out of town and … ,”

Just shut the fuck up,” the angry Pharmacist longs to say.  Well, I pretty much want to say that to everyone. Let’s continue with the scenario, though.  Instead the Pharmacy staff has to listen to not only where the stupid person is from, but where in the house he or she left their medication and why? *

Really, WE DON’T CARE!!

And then there’s those snowbirds.  I only have two words for them – GO BACK!

Speaking about the elderly, it reminds me of something from my book.  Bare with me if this is a repeat, but it’s so funny.  I write fiction and I can’t make this shit up.


“Oh, that reminds me.” Ron reached in his pocket.  “I know we try not to talk shop, but you gotta read this.  Found it in my mailbox with the word ‘classic’ written across the top.”

 Ron slid a small piece of paper toward me.

“I’m not sure what the scenario was, but it’s just fuckin’ hilarious.”

                        86. Dealing with a senior who proceeded to step over another senior

                        having a fatal heart attack and asked how long the wait was going to

                        be.  When he was told a man was dying on the floor, he stated that he

                        was in a hurry and couldn’t wait long. – Lauren


 I read the excerpt twice.  I was appalled that such an incident occurred, but never once doubted its validity.  It was absurdly pathetic.

“Bastard probably took his prescription and went elsewhere.”


from  My Life As A Retail Pharmacist – A Fictionalized Memoir

*By the way, they’re usually from down state, it’s usually the kitchen table and it’s usually because they really are that stupid.


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