Adam Thomas, RPH

Consider the following recipe –

Ingredients:

1 package vanilla organic cake mix                                                                1 pint whipping cream
1 package pistachio pudding                                                                           1 package pistachio pudding
3/4 cup oil (cutting with applesauce works well)                                           1 cup milk
3 eggs
1 cup club soda – lots of fizz
1 cup chopped walnuts

Mix ingredients, folding in walnuts – bake at 350 time dependent on pan selection.  For the frosting – add milk to pudding, mix until uniform – let set for 3 minutes.  Beat whipping cream, then fold in pudding.

Yes, this is a recipe for a PISTACHIO cake.  It turns out green and St.Patrick’s Day IS fast approaching.  I figured it was appropriate.  I am Irish, you know.  Really, I’m a mutt, but there is definitely Irish decent.  I’ve had L.I.D.S. since, like, birth. And, the last post was about tea.  What better follow-up than a serving of … green cake?

Consider the following ingredients –

INGREDIENTS: SUGAR, MODIFIED CORNSTARCH, ALMONDS, CONTAINS LESS THAN 2% OF ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, DISODIUM PHOSPHATE AND TETRASODIUM PYROPHOSPHATE (FOR THICKENING), SALT, PISTACHIOS, ARTIFICIAL COLOR, MONO- AND DIGLYCERIDES (PREVENT FOAMING), YELLOW 5, BLUE 1,BHA AS A PRESERVATIVE, YELLOW 6

This was copied/pasted from the pistachio pudding box.  Sorry about the all caps thing.  I was lazy and didn’t feel like transposing.

Consider the following question –

Why are there NO fucking pistachios in this PISTACHIO cake?

Okay, okay, there is mention of the word pistachio in the ingredients of the pudding.  Still, it’s the eighth ingredient listed AND it’s less than 2%.

If you think about it, there really is no other appropriate name for this cake.  It’s green and it contains pudding of the same name. But really, a pistachio cake without pistachios?

Consider the following explanation –

Traverse City is a ‘foodie’ destination.  Personally, I think ‘foodie’ is a dumb word, but everyone knows the meaning, so I concede.

In the heart of this town of eclectic  cuisine is Lobdell’s: A Teaching Restaurant ( the Great Lakes Culinary Institute ).

https://www.nmc.edu/resources/lobdells/

Since this is a school, knowledgeable resources are available to answer random baking questions.  Luckily, the culinary resource available when I called was a  dude who really knew his … cake.

• walnuts have the same flavor profile as pistachios
• walnuts are an oily, fibrous nut ; therefore much better to bake with  – pistachios are not
• pistachios are very expensive

When the culinary dude asked what the cake base contained, I was embarrassed, to say the least.  The recipe calls for a box mix. Yeah, I probs should’ve hung up immediately. He was polite though, stating that he never uses box mixes. Imagine that.  Furthermore, when he bakes something pistachio, he uses pistachio paste.  I was humbled by the inferiority of my existence. Nonetheless,  I expressed  appreciation for his time and thorough answer.

Consider the following ‘tudes –

Pistachio cake is my youngest brothers favorite dessert.  However, he will only eat my sister’s recipe.  (insert: sarcastic mumbling about sibling rivalry)  My cake will always be better, of course.  For all I know, her directions probably substitute pecans for pistachios. I think she needs to check her ‘nut’ flavor profile, eh?  (insert: more sarcastic mumbling).

Beautiful Day

personal tealine

I grew up on tea – Lipton tea bags to be exact. Everyone in my family drank the stuff.  My brother used a stein to drink his tea.  I’m pretty sure it was tea inside.  I remember the discarded bag on the counter top.  But it was my brother.  And, it was a stein.  Hmm… .

It wasn’t until college I switched to coffee; no transitional phase either.  I went off to Iowa and left the tea bags at home.  There wasn’t any deep seeded Freudian theory behind the abandonment.  I tried coffee.  It was good

My wife has never had a cup of coffee in her life.  Gasp!  Yes, I STILL married her.  She does drink her occasional cup of tea, though.   Every now and then, I did that couple thing and joined her. I regard those as temporary moments of weakness.  Luckily, there were only a few. And, I became stronger.  Coffee remained my sustenance.

Until January 2017.

Recently, I posted that nothing about coffee was appealing. It was bad.  So bad, I was almost at a loss at what to do with myself every morning.  A coffee cup was always within reach.  If it wasn’t, I would search the house, wondering where I left my damn cup.  Every evening,  I looked forward to a cup of decaf to begin the daily unwind.  Now what? A cup of hot water is just  lame.  So, green tea it was.  Oddly enough, I would add a lemon slice and … .  I unwound.  Well, as much adamthomasrph can unwind, that is.

 informational tea bits 

• Tea (except herbal teas, which are not really tea at all) is made from the Camellia sinensis plant.  Black tea is allowed to ferment and green tea is unfermented.  White tea is also unfermented, but taken from the unopened buds of the tea bush.
• Chinese legend tells us that Emperor Shen Nong first discovered tea in 2737 B.C., when leaves from the tea bushes fell into water his servants were boiling to purify.
• Though the Chinese grow the most tea, the United Arab Emirates drink nearly 14 pounds of the stuff every year, putting them ahead of Morocco and Ireland residents. Brits come in seventh.
• It was the American Thomas Sullivan who accidentally invented the teabag in 1904.  Nowadays, the teabag is the by far the most popular way to make tea, with over 96 percent of the tea drunk in the United Kingdom being made in this fashion.
• Green tea that has the best reputation as a super food.
• Black tea has 14-70 mg of caffeine – green tea has 24-45 mg – white tea has 30-55 mg – coffee 95mg – Mountain Dew 55mg
• Lastly,  afternoon tea at Aqua Shard in London would put the MadHatter’s party to shame.  Served from 1pm to 5pm daily

https://www.timeout.com/london/restaurants/afternoon-tea-in-london

 last sip, sip

No one, not even the English, say ‘pip, pip‘.  And, that ‘cheerio‘ shit.  I’m thinking that doesn’t happen either.  One last personal teabit.  I have never raised my pinkie when drinking tea.  There’s only one finger I raise and it’s all in the name of customer service, of course.

Johnny’s gone Mad

Johnny Depp has a tendency to frighten both children AND adults; even when he’s drinking tea.  Therefore, I included the link to Disney’s animated version as well.

Wonderland ‘unbirthday’

Sip, sip, Cheerio

Lets’ face it, the general public is just stupid.  Plain and simple, people are dumb.  While the majority are this way from birth, the remaining few are converted to dumbness by advances in technology. Take going to the pharmacy and the seemingly simple task of ‘checking out’.  It’s horribly complicated in today’s society.  Worse, you receive miles of receipt tape offering everything from Depends coupons to ‘points’ for signing up for some damn retail program that promotes unwanted inquiry.  And, random comments about said programs … .  I hate listening to people bitch and moan about things neither of us can control.  I actually hate talking to people in general, but it’s kinda part of the job.  So, … .  I keep telling everyone to buy my book so I can move on from My Life As A Retail Pharmacist.  But it’s not happening as quickly as I would like, okay.  Trust me, I NEED to move on.  Let’s get this shit to go viral.  And, everyone, especially me, will be happy.

Semi-rant on stupidity is over.  Back to this amazingly complicated retail task of purchasing items.

The newest advancement to baffle the struggling consumer is the chip called the EMV.

• Banks/credit companies are issuing new cards, which look like their old cards but are fitted with a small metallic high-tech chip
• EMV, which stands for Europay, MasterCard, Visa — the three companies that created the standard
• The chip’s goal: keeping thieves from easily accessing consumers’ personal information
• the high-tech chip creates a unique code for each transaction, making it difficult for criminals to duplicate consumers’ information
• if fraud occurs when a magnetic stripe card is swiped at a chip-enabled terminal, the bank is responsible for the fraud
• EMV technology won’t protect consumers with online purchases
• Gas stations have until 2017 to replace readers at pumps

Yes, I believe the intention with this concept is good.  It’s decreasing fraud.  Unfortunately, the ‘conversion’ is not so good.  Few establishments are chip-enabled.  And, if they are enabled, the chip reader is so damn slow.  It’s just agonizing.  The impatient customer complains and the innocent cashier is trapped in retail hell, listening to the customer’s opinion about technological advancements.

Me, I handle every interaction like the person is, in fact, stupid.  I tell everyone what to do in the fewest words possible, thwarting comments and questions with the look of  ‘don’t even think about it’  on my face.  And, it works.  I buck the system.  Most actually prefer my method – I ask what is needed and handle things from there.  My goal is to streamline each transaction.  Unless, the customer is on the phone, of course.  Then, then I talk so much the customer gets really mad and has to end the call.  Once the person hangs up, I complete the sale swiftly, grinning at my ‘little’ success.

Hopefully, my rant was too … painful. Though nothing can be as painful as a Depends coupon.  When you’re only 51.

It’s ALL about the money

Let me qualify something first –  I am going to sound like a thirteen year old drama magnet when I say this, but …

“BuzzFeed knows me better than I know myself.”

Okay, I apologize.  It’s over.  On with the post.

Technically, it IS my thirteen year old daughter’s fault I was even introduced to the site.  But it is fun. We sit on the couch together and take quizzes.  It’s time I get to spend with my daughter.  So I’m going to take some quizzes.  Hell, I’ll do as many as she wants if it means spending time together.

BuzzFeed –

•  is the leading independent digital media company delivering news and entertainment to hundreds of millions of people around the world. The global, cross-platform network includes the site and mobile apps, Facebook, Snapchat, YouTube, and many other digital platforms.

• is the irreverent US news and entertainment website taking the social web by storm. The site is said to be one of the fastest-growing on the internet, with more than 40 million people a month viewing viral hit.

•  is accused of using other people’s content. But its mix of the serious and stupid poses a fresh challenge for traditional media companies as they battle for web users’ time and attention. Its flexible approach to advertising – shunning the tired model of banner ads in favor of sponsored content – makes it a trailblazer in the rise of the social web.

 quizzes – 

How can picking one out of nine different donuts predict this?

You have a very kind heart and a generous spirit. You’re always taking care of everyone else, even when you don’t realize you’re doing it. Just make sure to take care of yourself along the way. Take a little “me” time and treat yo’ self!

“That so totally describes you, daddy,” said my daughter. Smart kid. And, I didn’t even have to pay her to say that.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/alivelez/pick-a-doughnut-and-we-will-reveal-a-deep-truth-about-you?utm_term=.on1gMbJqXK#.miMqNa90wJ

This Picture Test Will Reveal Your Deepest Fear

Your deepest fear is failure. The thought of not succeeding or achieving your goals and dreams lingers over you a lot and it’s always in the back of your mind. Sometimes you work extra hard to make sure that doesn’t happen, but sometimes you can cave and fall into the mindset of “what’s the point of even trying?” Everybody fails at things in life though, and the beauty of it is you can learn from your mistakes and try again. After all, some of the most powerful and richest people in the world failed before they succeeded.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/benhenry/this-emotion-test-will-reveal-your-deepest-fear?utm_term=.mdErXBZ58d#.hwLZp754b2

I decided NOT to include the fucking quiz that revealed my correct age.  No one wants to test fate with that link.  I guess I should be happy it didn’t predict me older eh?

Damn BuzzFeed! I hate you – (drama implied)

To have been truly DONE with January, I should’ve penned this post BEFORE I Welcomed February in a tyrannical rant.  This biannual recap of my musings is appropriately scheduled, though.  Unfortunately, the rest of my life … is not.

One of the reasons January was so awful, I had a sinus infection for practically the entire month.  And, it still hasn’t gone away.  The adverse effects to the antibiotic numbed/changed my taste buds.  Translation –  PBJ’s aren’t appetizing.  Gasp! Worse, coffee – my most favorite thing in, like, the world – tastes … bad almost nauseating.  Even bigger Gasp!

See, my rant was truly justified.

pbj and the Family Guy

So, here are those afterthoughts of previously posted material.  After, I’m looking for a complete catharsis to be move onward in this damn year.

• I miss El Nino. Traverse  had more snow in December than all last winter combined. January wasn’t too bad – February is looking pretty grim, though. Fortunately, I’m still doin the D3 thing
• In Tangled, it really WAS a cast iron skillet Rapunzel used even though it was referred to as a ‘frying pan’.  The latter is just easier to dialogue – especially for a Disney cartoon.  Oh, and Rapunzel  NEVER once complained about the weight of her skillet. You go, Rapunzel
• caramelizing onions is my favorite cast iron skillet  ‘to do’
• Entertainment Weekly mentioned that this is the fortieth anniversary of Rumors by Fleetwood Mac.
• I still don’t have Canadian maps on my GPS.  I still don’t care.
• Maybe I should actually stick with Christmas cards.  I sent New Years greetings this year on time – ever since my life has been quite the cluster.   Note to self – Christmas in July  2018? Anythings gotta be better than New Years 2017.
• Hollywood has to work on this whole ‘happily ever after’ thing.  LaLaLand was an incredible movie that truly does deserves the praise it’s received.  However, like Into The Woods there is NO real happily ever after. The main stars get their own ‘happily’ just not together and definitely not ‘ever after‘ .
• Along with the row machine, I’ve been spending time on the stair stepper.  It’s not the same as those 115 stairs in the east stairwell of the hotel in Canada, but my butt likes it.  Buns of concrete, baby.
• No marquee maxiums worth mentioning except the only clubs I like are sandwiches. I have no idea what that means, nor do I care.
• I still suck at poetry.
• would you rather use a well-rehearsed cliche’ or just tell the person to ‘shut the fuck up and mind their own business.’  Any guesses on my answer? Hint: italics
• Haven’t had any Mead recently.  Though I’m still told I need to drink more. Hard cider?  Maybe Vodka?

I decided to close with one of my daughter’s favorite songs.  Don’t let the title mislead, she IS way alright.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLzDQNbhHYs

This couch potato therapy session is officially over.  Begin catharsis.

Aum … .

I AM done with January.  Let me rephrase that – I AM so fucking done with January.

Normally, I like the month.  I look at January as a low-key, low-stress month – a welcome break from the crazy months that proceeded.  A settling into winter with comfort food and even more comfortable … flannel? I was trying to think of some fun ‘comfort’ wordplay to go along with food, but couldn’t.  So I’m sticking with flannel.   Anyway, even though the month is 31 days long, it rarely seems burdensome.

Conversely, February was the month I often dreaded.  Yes, I love the thought of February – not because of Valentine’s Day.  Remember, it’s me.  I would never love February because of Valentine’s Day, okay? Think about it. February should be an easy month.  I mean, it IS only 28 days.  For some reason, though, it’s never easy. I’m not sure whether it’s the cold, the snow, or that damn Cupid.  But, the month drags.

Now since everything I’ve come to know and expect  for decades is out the proverbial  window, I am at a precipice – ready for what February has in store.  So, it better be … better than January.  I try to keep my expectations realistic. Oh, yeah, if that  Groundhog decides to fuck things up, one of Cupid’s arrows will make him rethink that shadow shit.

comfort … song

Time to talk shop – well, OTC pharmacy shop, that is.  Vitamin/mineral  supplements are sometimes a natural alternative to pharmaceutical preparations when preventing or treating physiological conditions.  Be warned – researching what you need for what you have then actually going out and getting it can be rather confusing.  Unfortunately, the manufacturers think  more is better.  Shit, just buying Tylenol is a pain in the ass because there are so many options OF THE SAME THING – tablets, capsules, caplets, liquid, chewables. It’s very overwhelming. However, one particular mineral is actually confusing because of its versatility not its duplicity of availability.

Magnesium

Magnesium is a mineral supplement used to prevent and treat low amounts of this natural occurring mineral in the blood. Magnesium is very important for the normal functioning of cells, nerves, muscles, bones, and the heart. Certain situations cause your body to lose magnesium faster than you can replace it from your diet. These situations include treatment with diuretics, a poor diet, alcoholism, or other medical malabsorption conditions.

http://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/types-of-magnesium/

Before I decided to pen this post, I asked an intern about the difference in magnesium preparations.  I’ve been out of school over twenty-seven years, I have no fucking clue.  She said that  the majority of  Magnesium products do the same thing – treat a deficiency of magnesium in the body.  If that’s all that is needed, purchase whatever product is on sale and call it a day. Medical professionals have their go to favorites for each disease state and sometimes it really does make a difference.

Magnesium Oxide (MgO):

MagOx 400 is a favorite if cardiologists used for patients that have compromised cardiovascular conditions that warrant supplementation.

Magnesium Citrate (‎C₆H₆MgO_7):

This form of magnesium is an osmotic – translation – it increases water in the intestines.  Even simpler terms – it’s for constipation.  And, the liquid formulation called Citrate of Magnesia is like Liquid Plumber, baby.  Within fifteen minutes you are cleaned out and will continue to be cleansed for some time after.  Caution – don’t leave the  bathroom.

Another, less invasive preparation, is Calm.  A powder that can be mixed with juice to relax the muscles and keep you regular if needed.  In no way will this ever replace Xanax, especially for those gay summer weddings, but it does … calm.

Magnesium Sulfate (MgSO4):

This is Epsom Salt.  Health benefits from either soaking your feet or taking a bath in Epsom salt, include: soothing muscle aches, treating sunburn, and removing splinters

the Periodic Table song

Back in July 2014, I posted   I dreamed a dream.  Below is a summary of my dream.  Though, I must say, the entire post is rather witty.  And, that was over two years ago  – kinda’ proud of that.

So, I’m in pharmacy school, plugging along, and wham I fail a class or something equally school/career altering happens that makes me re-evaluate my future/options.  Pharmacy school, like any professional degree, has classes that are sequential.  You have to pass Pharmaceutics I to go on the Pharmaceutics II.  Since the classes are only offered in specific semesters, the entire schooling tract revolves around the forward movement – passing each class.  You fail – your fucked.  In this dream, however, I never get passed the decision – I’m always faced with the decision or ,better yet, panicked by what little options exist. Often I wake up realizing I’ve had the dream, yet knowing  no resolution occurred.

Once again, my rambling  “… has nothing to do with the show  Les Miserables .  But … everything to do with  days gone by AND this hell I’m living – retail pharmacy, of course. ” 

As you may have guessed, I am still having the same damn dream; twenty-five years and counting.  However, not as often AND it has continued to change. Just not enough for me, okay. Situations and supporting characters appear, then disappear, over and over and over again.  Still, the fact remains – I fail and I am faced with the “what the fuck am I going to do now” scenario right before I awake.  One last tidbit of information that I didn’t include in the summary – I think about ‘change’, especially in my professional life, more now than I did back then.  Hm… .

In a recent conversation, I picked the brain of someone who might know something or another about dreams.  He stated that this dream is the ‘classic’  and most frequented dreamed dream.  And, regardless of my conscious efforts, there will never be resolution in my dream.  Before I could protest this unfortunate circumstance, he mentioned that there may be a way to creatively manipulate my dream.  By doing this, the new events may somehow offer a solution by shifting certain elements of the dream, changing the emphasis.  Then failure may not be the issue.  Hmm … .

Instead of it always being from my  protagonistic  point of view, I was instructed to use my conscious state to think about the dream from different perspectives.    Better yet,  personify the location. What would ‘the school’ say or how it would ‘react’?  Could the ‘supporting characters’ actually change the outcome if they were now the primary focus?  Hmmm ... .

Don’t worry, the hmm…  stops here.  I’m not that obsessive.  It really is only a dream.  Rarely do I have luxury of time to consciously think about such a trivial subject.  It’s tempting, though.  Very tempting.

Heart – These Dreams

Dream on!