the key

October 15, 2022

Quite some time ago, I was fortunate to listen to a little ditty about an actual key. Oh, Jack and Diane had nothing to do with that ditty either. Apparently, the storyteller found a random key around his house. Since he had no idea what the key unlocked, he tagged the key and placed it in a familiar location just in case he remembered After a year, he came upon the key again and realized he still had no clue of its purpose. So, he threw the key in the garbage. If he didn’t need the key in an entire year, he ain’t gonna need it in the next ten, eh?!

I was both amused and intrigued by the tale. So much so, I decided to use this concept when housekeeping. I have never been much of a pack-rack. As far as I am concerned, either recycle or just throw the damn thing away – if it doesn’t have a purpose I don’t have a reason to keep it.

Fast-forward to present day.

I recently purchased an older car. When the previous owner handed over the key to the vehicle, he said he had misplaced the spare. Since I would be the only driver, this wasn’t that big of a deal. However, every so often I would have a panic attack about either losing the key or, worse, locking it in the car. I queried the dealer about a replacement. Not to my surprise. a new key for my old car was approximately $273 plus $150 to program the key.

A bit rich for my car-ry ass.

The seller told me he would keep looking. Silly as it may sound, I believed him. In the height of a recent attack, I messaged him again. It had been a minute, so it was warranted. Much to my dismay, it remained lost. Ugh! I went back to the dealer to see what options existed. To my surprise there were a few.  And, it confused the shit out of me. The original price was for a key, the fob/remote control, engine sensor, and the programming. All this for a 2007! Ugh, Ugh!! Thankfully, all these things could be acquired separately AND much cheaper. Unfortunately, I am not a gear head. I was completely overwhelmed with his explanation. Don’t throw me any shade, okay!? For something as simple as a replacement key, it was  anything but. In his vast expertise, Mr. worker dude was done with me and my ignorance as much as I was done with him and his explanation. Ugh, Ugh Ugh!

Finally, he suggested a valet key. All that will do is open and lock the door manually which would definitely curb some panic. More importantly, I can upgrade at any time.  He would just need the car AT the dealership to program it accordingly. (insert: guttural noise of frustrated disappointment)

For now though,  I am content with my decision. I guess I will just unlock that door if and when something happens.

Then again, maybe lock not.

 

welcome Autumn

September 17, 2022

A poem written by my wonderful mother –

Welcome Autumn
The hot summer winds have whispered  goodbye.
I greet this new season with a welcoming sigh.

Orange golden hues; the rusts and the reds,
such beautiful colors leave little unsaid.

The falling leaves rustle ‘neath my feet.
A colorful quilt, covering yards and street.

These autumn months give me time to prepare,
my heart and my mind for winter’s fare.

An album by a cool pianist –

George Winston – Autumn

A promotion sponsored by plain ol’ me –

CLICK the icon to download one or all three titles for FREE this weekend Saturday September 17 and Sunday September 18, 2022!

Fall into reading!

now what?!

August 3, 2022

Well, it’s official – I AM done!

With my latest project, that is. Now, the real work begins — getting the damn thing out there so it can be the New York Times Number One Best-Seller it is destined to become. So how do I do that?

Before I mosey on down that ‘broken’ road, I deserve to wallow in my accomplishment. Hell, I have completed a 417 page manuscript that is 150,800 words — I have reason to be proud. More importantly, it’s pretty darn good. It’s a character driven story so it is a bit slower-paced. From what I’ve been told, it is well-written and compelling enough to finish. Oh, that and I pen a pretty good sex scene.

Also, I feel the need to divulge some quirky, yet unexpected writing habits I never knew I had until now. Thanks to my proof-reader for pointing out such flaws. But that is his job. If he told me my draft was perfect, I would know he was lying.

  • I like and grossly overused the word countless. Who knew, right?
  • I don’t like, but definitely overused introductory adverbs like unfortunately, however, and, wait for it, moreover. Hmmm … .
  • Most writers have problems with “,” usage. I don’t, of course. However (pun totally intended), I had a huge problem with “;” . Go figure! I blame Google. During the initial writing, I would use a “, “when I thought it was necessary. Google auto corrected immediately by highlighting the text with a blue-squiggly line. When I hovered over it to see what I did wrong, I was informed that a “;” should be used instead. Rather that be reminded of my inadequacies, I just corrected my writing pattern and used the “;” going forward. I was wrong. Correction: Google was wrong, I was just gullible. In my defense, Google never made me think otherwise.
  • the proofreader did NOT understand what I was trying to do regarding a constant theme that drove the storyline. I had to keep reminding myself that he is a teacher.  I was not paying him for creative input. Maybe I should have? Yikes!
  • That said, I did get three – count them THREE – red-pen smiley faces. It still doesn’t average out. To anything. BUT, I did get three unsolicited, positive comments. YAY!

That’s about it. I know there is MORE. There was a-l-o-t of red pen. However, my novel reads so much better with the corrections. Now, I am concentrating on getting an agent or brainstorming some other non-Amazon alternatives. I so want this book in hard cover. Oh, it will make an awesome movie, too.

Until that time, I want to celebrate this victory and offer another ALL for FREE – THREE for ALL. Today, August 03 all three titles are FREE! Just click on the desired book jacket icon(s) and download.

My break is over — back to the real work. Thankfully I have super easy read as a finished project to pitch. My initial question of ‘now what’ will soon be answered.

a triFREEcta twofer

May 29, 2022

I decided to holiday up this promotion to celebrate Memorial Day. After all, it IS the unofficial start of summer. And, the infamous beach read. For the next two days, Sunday May 29 and Monday May 30, all three titles are FREE!

Just click on one, two, or all three icons and download the e-book. It really is that easy!

Think of it as a triFREEcta twofer to remember!

Happy reading!

265 Linn

April 3, 2022

I have a title for my latest project – 265 Linn – I am so excited!

Actually, it wasn’t me that thought of it. I suck at titles – always have, always will. Thankfully, I have friends who don’t suck. I’ve surrounded myself with amazing people that do way more than get me through the day. They think of wonderful titles for my works of fiction.

Over my years of blogging, I have had some really good blog topics AND, yes, titles for those posts. Thinking of those ideas was easy. However, when it comes to major projects, I completely block. Could it be that I’m too close to the project and can’t detach myself? Will people buy my book with such a lame name? Maybe I really do suck?

Regardless of the reason, titles are very daunting. Hell, I can write a 416 page novel, but thinking of a singular phrase that will convey essence of what I’ve written throughs me for a damn loop.

 But none of that matters – I have one now. And, it’s a really, really good title.

I am working on the one page synopsis and a proofreader is putting the final tweaks on my grammar. Apparently, I like the work countless – who knew? And, I overuse semi-colons. Most writers have problems with commas. Me, I abuse my semi-colon privileges. Go figure?! I blame auto correct. When I was writing, that dreaded line would highlight my comma calamities. When I hovered over the error, the Microsoft powers that grammatically be told me I should use a semi-colon instead. After a few blue squiggles, I just started adding semi-colons instead. Auto-correct never corrected me. (pun intended) My proof-reader deems otherwise.

Now, that my book to do list is finally getting done, I need to figure out what the hell I’m going to do with the damn thing once its actually to  done. Yikes!

And, I thought thinking of a title was daunting.

For now, I am overcome with joy that I have a title.

Welcome to 265 Linn. The walls don’t talk, but they really do listen.

(the tagline is all mine, by the way. I think it has a nice hook.)

1 – 5 – 1

February 20, 2022

My recovery is going quite well. I have graduated from the walker to a cane. The transition took a bit longer than anticipated due to that whole ice/swelling issue. Although I remain a tad swollen, I am assured that will subside soon. I struggled with the cane option.  Let’s just call it retail PTSD. Usually, people with canes are especially demanding. Thus, I have a strong desire to beat the person over the head with their cane because they just don’t want to listen.

Breathe – I’m better now.

Moreover, canes are not the sturdiest. But I did find a quad-foot cane – it is proving to be very useful. I can guarantee that the transition away from it will be much faster.

Now, I will address that obscure post title. It’s a ‘breakdown’ of my disability.

The first week was a wash because my surgery was pushed back due to insurance parameters. Then, I had five wonderful weeks of recovery; a much needed, and well-deserved, reprieve from the constraints of the Daily Grind. Hence, one week to go until my Life starts again. Reality has trickled in slowly. Unfortunately. However, I am going to make this final week count. Before I do, I want to share my random list of To Dones crossed off thus far.

  1. I actually (pauses intended) used frozen, pre-prepared foods. Usually, I pawn off such food on my son. However, I decided with the immobility in the first few weeks, I needed to hit the deep freeze myself.
  2. I purged through quite a lot of old files. Fun fact – I have a ‘vanities’ file – pictures of items I’ve torn from magazines before they all became digital. Good news – I still like the majority of the items saved. Bad news – I still can’t afford them.
  3. I began re-assessing my recipes. Over the years, I have saved an over-abundance of recipes torn from, yes, magazines.  This intention was two-fold; inspired by my latest project. First, I have always wanted to provide a cook book for my children. Secondly, I had so many recipes I knew I would never make. It hindered me from finding the recipe I needed. Oh, and that inspiration I referenced – read the book when it becomes available.
  4. I decided to join the local YMCA to swim. I’ve been wanting to change up my exercise routine for some time. What better way to rehab them hips than swimming?
  5. I read a book at home. Without falling asleep after two pages.
  6. I reconnected with friends I’ve been wanting to do so with for some time. Scheduling becomes so much easier when one party – me – has absolutely no commitments.
  7. Last, but certainly not least, I did nothing. One day, I watched the fucking snow – it was really nice.

Well, there are a few more things, but  that about sums it up. This last week will be riddled with a more hectic To Do list of things that fall in line to cope with reality – so not looking forward to that.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/music/news/shakira-hips-don-t-lie-official-music-video-ft-wyclef-jean/vi-BBRsPaM

Even though I AM officially titanium and my doctor was amazing, my hips will NEVER be that agile.

And, I don’t lie!

n-Ice!

January 27, 2022

Recently, I had a total hip replacement. Like, five days ago recently. Well, it was five days when I started penning this post. It needed to be done for some time; a familial problem. At least two, if not three, of my siblings already had the surgery. Also, retail pharmacy has its consequences; being on your feet for twelve hour days doesn’t help. Fortunately, circumstances provided the opportunity and I decided to comply.

Hip replacement has come a long way over the years. Yeah, baby! My procedure was done anteriorly rather than posteriorly. Translation – the doctor went in through the front/side of the hip instead of the back. Therefore, less large muscle groups were involved. I have a nice ass. So, salvaging that was a necessity. Still, I had a total hip replacement. Beating the shit out of the lower half of the body will definitely yield pain and … swelling.

Yikes!

My discharge instructions were lengthy. And, I read them all. No lie, okay. This was important. I needed to be prepared to ensure proper recovery. Since I am a medical professional and quite active, the majority of the instructions were routine. I haven’t had a major surgery in some time, but I’ve had my share of injuries. So, I knew what worked for me. Unfortunately, I have never been an icer. Translation – I rarely use ice. To me, it seemed pointless and messy; one of those details I decided to forgo. My lack of patience never warranted the concept.

Ice and post-surgery swelling

  • cold compresses or ice packs can be helpful  when dealing with post-surgery swelling
  • swelling occurring after surgery is going to disappear within days or weeks
  • the application of cold or heat compresses is beneficial in speeding up the swelling healing process

Ah, hindsight! Ugh!

How ice packs work

The application of ice onto the post-surgery bruises –

  • lowers the temperature of injured tissues
  • constricts the blood vessels
  • inhibits supply to injured site

Hence, applying cold compress or ice pack onto the post-surgical swelling is beneficial in speeding up the healing process.

the best time to use ice with swelling

  • maximum benefits for non-numb swelling if applied for the first 24 to 48 hours. This is the period when the resulted swelling is still severe and large.
  • after the first 48 hours, the compresses can be alternated between warm and ice compresses.
  • compresses can be applied 4 to 5 times a day, but be alert not to get the skin burnt.

If the swelling turns into bruises, heat pack or warm compress should be applied, rather than the cold one. Heat pack is going to promote sufficient blood supply to the bruises, bringing more oxygen to reduce the bruising appearance.

The ice ship for me has long sailed. Needless to say, I swelled a-l-o-t. Fuck! So much so, it felt like my foot was ready to explode. The Hunan Body and it’s intricacies never cease to amaze me. It was crazy ass shit watching my foot swell to that capacity. That night, I think I went to the bathroom, like, seven times – ugh! The next morning my swelling was reduced. No sure if icing would’ve prevented that debacle, but I have learned my lesson.

n-Ice!

I just better mot get stretch marks.

Good Intentions

January 10, 2022

So, I mentioned before I was blogging again. Or, intended to start. Thankfully, I did not commit to doing so on a regular basis.  Wow! Glad I gave myself that out, eh!? While I do think about wanting to blog, the actually task of doing it has become a complete  farce. It’s boggling to me how little time I have to do anything, let alone blog. And, my kids are away from home. How does that happen? Granted the last few months have been riddled with too much drama – none of which is my doing, by the way.

No, I’m not delusional. I own my self-induced dysfunctionality when it’s warranted. Right now, it’s not. I am in punt mode at the moment.  My mindset is the here and now – getting from day to day.

I’m just thankful I was able to complete my last project. Though, I still have no fucking clue how I was able to write and edit over 400 pages. Good for me!

Anyway, I am hoping things calm down a bit so I can post my musings. The escapism is both fun and necessary.

Until I get a brain cell to complete a thought to embrace my Random Nonsense, enjoy this offering.

Please be patient. Honestly, I had to post something even this rambling mess. My adamthomas.com tradition was so December.

The adamthomasrph.com Christmas Tradition

December 23, 2021

“It’s that time of year, when … .“

… I post about challenged AND struggling. Christmas Carols. If this was about people that would be an everyday occurrence, of course. But I’m not. Instead, I am highlighting those treasured classics that will always be a blog tradition.

  1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?
  2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are
  3. Dementia —I Think I’ll Be Home for Christmas
  4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
  5. Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and . . .
  6. Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
  7. Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
  8. Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why
  9. Attention Deficit Disorder — Silent Night, Holy OOOOOOOOh look at the Froggy, can I have chocolate, why is France so far away?
  10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell …

Ho – Ho – Ho — Merry Christmas!

Cool Yule surprise

December 13, 2021

It is a known fact I send A-L-O-T of greeting cards – always have; always will. They’re fun. Besides, people love to receive something in the mail that’s not a bill. Ironically, I do not send Christmas cards. I’s got every other holiday handled – so sending an annual Christmas card is so passé’ in my opinion. A few times, I was sucked into the season and decided to send New Years cards. Twice. Bad decision on my part – Twice. Ugh! Each year that followed was wrought with cluster after cluster of funness (sarcasm intended), I vowed never to do that again.

My address book is a treasured possession. I’m talking old school address book, too – handwritten and just a hot mess from scribbled notes. Lots of folks have had Life Changes that needed updating. I do purge through it on a regular basis. Well, that’s kind of a lie – I haven’t done so in a while. I’m okay with that, though. I navigate hot messes quite well. Everyone in that book appreciates the gesture and reciprocates to the best of their abilities. Since there has been lots of icky things in the world, I uped my game a bit. I have never sent so may greeting cards in my life. I would never expect the equal level of reciprocity. It’s just fun!. Besides, people really appreciate it now more than ever.

side note – if you piss me off,  your ass is lined-out, baby. With a red pen. Oh, and good luck trying to make your way back into my postal graces. (insert – manly grunting noise)

I grew up on a block where everyone knew everyone  – we were quite tight. At one time there were, like, 120 kids on a single street. Over the years, families moved on, of course. Some stayed connected; some did not. As time went on, funerals were an odd, yet advantageous meeting place to reconnect.

As the ‘hood aged, one special neighbor always remained in contact with my mother. They were never really besties when the kids were young. However, once they aged, their relationship became quite bonded. It was nice. This neighbor also had a special place in my heart. In fact, I bought my first car from her. Naturally, our greeting card exchange became more frequent than most. Yeah, she received familial updates from my mom, but I appreciated our correspondence nonetheless. When my mother passed away last year, this neighbor and I remained postally palled.

In fact, she recently sent me an early Christmas card. Inside was the following note –

Just wanted to thank you for all the greeting cards I have received all the years gone by. Must cost you a lot for stamps. Love hearing from you.

She included a book of stamps.

Cool Yule, eh!

« Older
Newer »