Adam Thomas, RPH

     “Well, neither will this.” I showcased the piece of paper, holding it steadfast.  At first it was a white flag, signaling my surrender.  Now it was the crest of my resolve.
“Adam, could we please be done with this.  Sign the damn piece of paper.”
“No.”

from   My  Life  As A  Retail  Pharmacist – A Fictionalized  Memoir

Rob Brezsney writes Freewill Astrology for Northern Express Weekly, a local circulation.  Apparently this week I’m certain to have “a high concentration of magic and stimulation”, “my word of power will be succulence” – by the way, succulence was italicized, AND I need to take “active control of the unfolding adventures” instead of reacting.

Yes, I am quite pysched for the week, but I have an issue with something. Imagine that. Isn’t reacting the majority of what life is? How you react dictates what evolves – it could either be magical and stimulating or passive and downright boring. Of course I want to “be the director AND lead actor” in my drama, but creating opportunities has never really worked for me.  So I’m left with reacting.  As the except from my book points out, that really doesn’t fair to well either.

So it’s Friday.  I drafted the above early in the week hoping to finish my thought and post it sooner. I didn’t. Sorry.  But I’m kinda’ glad.  Now I have retrospective insight.  I don’t know if that is what it’s called or if it even exists, but here it is –

Nothing was magical or stimulating.  My word was not even close to succulence.   Lastly, I think this actor AND director need to be fired.

But it made me hopeful AND got me through the week.  So, it ain’t all bad.

For the longest time that was my response when someone asked the infamous question How are you? In fact, that was my response to everything. And I mean everything. When I was finally called on it, probably by my wife, of course, I trained myself to stop. I actually told people how I was really doing when prompted. That really didn’t go over to well. I either stopped people in their tracks or received the obligatory ‘that’s nice’. Come on. I answer ‘shitty’, ‘not so well today’ or something along that lines and I get a ‘that‘s nice‘! I finally realized that no one really cared. My friends did, but they knew exactly how I was doing without me even saying a word. As for everyone else … . Well, I decided to stop asking. I just acknowledged with a quick greeting and was on my way. It was rather liberating to say the least. Stacee was intrigued by this ‘human experiment’ of sorts and tried it herself. Somehow or another it blew up in her face, but that’s another entry in itself.

Then I saw The Italian Job – great movie, by the way. And that put the whole new spin on the topic. According to Donald Sutherland’s character in the movie fine means

F reaked out

I nsecure

N eurotic

E motional

I realized that sums up my entire existence the majority of the time. So I decided to come full circle and now reply with a simply ‘fine, thanks’ when asked how I’m doing. I’m content with that, really.

PS – I still don’t ask how the other person is doing though.

One last comment on this whole resistance to change topic. I promise.

I never really offered my old classmate any advise on what to do or what not to.  I just listened.  But when I think about possible responses, I can’t think of a one that isn’t ladened with angry one-liners.  Since said superiors are already in that mind set, the decision has already been made.  Oh there are exceptions, but … .  This is no longer pharmacy, folks this is reality.

I purchased a CD recently – Yes, you read correctly.  You can see why I’m friends with this person.  It was by FUN. . I don’t understand the . after FUN, but that may be another question topic soon.  And it is just that – fun.  It reminds me a lot of Queen – especially the first track Some Nights Intro.  However, it is the second track  Some Nights that continues to inspire the answer.  Or at least partially.  The remainder of the lyrics are intriguing, yet I have no fucking clue what any of it means.  That’s probably why it’s fun, eh?

Here goes –

what do i stand for?

what do i stand for?

most nights i don’t know anymore

this is it boys this is war

what are we waiting for?

why don’t we break the rules already?

i was never one to believe the hype

save that for the black and white

i try twice as hard and i’m half as liked

but here they come again to jack my style

An old classmate from Pharmacy school just had his annual review.  In short, it was a total cluster.  But aren’t they all.  Why on earth would your supervisor ever tell you you are doing a good job?

From what I understand, the main contention the supervisor had with my friend was that he was, and I quote, “resistant to change”.

You all realize how much I am refraining to rant incessantly on this.  I mean I did write a novel on similar corporate bullshit.  But I decided to take the high road and approach this … objectively. 

What exactly is the definition of resistant to change?   

Resistance to Change

The adoption of innovations involves altering human behavior, and the acceptance of change. There is a natural resistance to change for several reasons.

People resist change:

When the reason for the change is unclear.

When the proposed users have not been consulted about the change, and it is offered to them as an accomplished fact. People like to know what’s going on, especially if their jobs may be affected. Informed workers tend to have higher levels of job satisfaction than uninformed workers.

When the benefits and rewards for making the change are not seen as adequate for the trouble involved.

There are more.  Hell, I think there are a couple of books on the subject – none as good as mine, of course.  Instead of taking the altruistc approach of being objective, I decided to comment.  Sorry.  I will be brief.

Resistant to change is a catch-all way to catagorize nonadherence to the latest inane company policy.  One that is certain to change in x amount of months when some ’suit’ gets another, different bug-up-their-ass.  

This IS retail pharmacy, folks.  Prescriptions still have to be filled. 

Well, I decided my green thumb may not be that green after all.  Since it’s fall… .  Scratch that, I live in Northern Michigan.  The only season – singular – we know is winter and the month of July, of course.  But seriously, fall in Northern Michigan really is wonderful.  In fact it’s November 11th and it was close to 70.  I was able to catch up on all the of outside chores that are so dependent on the weather.  And, here’s a bonus.   The outside Christmas lights even got hung.  Not bad, eh?

Back to the whole thumb thing.

I had a credit at Garden Goods – a local gardening center that is just amazing.  So I decided on a beautiful croton.  I’ve had hit and miss luck with house plants in the past and thought that maybe, just maybe, this would be a hit.  My mother always grew crotons and assured me the croton would be the perfect choice.   Well, I plant the sure  thing with my daughter.  You know one of those bonding events that is supposed to be the ah moments in life.  And what happens, the damn leaves fall off! Now the poor girl is scarred for life and I’ve got ugly sticks pointing out of this brand new pot.

Still, I didn’t panic.  I may be struggling lately, but I’m really not that big of a fail.  So I googled ‘croton house plants’.  And, after a gazillion responses, I was comforted.  Apparently the croton is not that fool-proof after all.  It doesn’t like to be moved and when it is it quickly goes into shock, loosing all of it’s leaves.

I realize there’s a metaphor in there some physcotherapist would have a field day with, but who cares.  I DIDN”T KILL ANOTHER HOUSE PLANT – yet

I’ll leave you with that.

The Four-Way Test

Of the things we think, say or do

Is it the truth?

Is it fair to all concerned?

Will it build good will and better friendship?

Will it be beneficial to all concerned?

Actions speak louder than ‘answers’.

I’ve been struggling lately with shit that I have no control over AND that I do not bring on myself.  No, I’m not in denial.  I can honestly say I never do anything to intentional complicate my life.  Why would I? Life complicates it enough for me.  So since I’ve been struggling, I remembered the excerpt below.  Yes, it worked – momentarily. But, tomorrow is another day, ya know. 　

I am confident. I am strong. I am fucking awesome.

The last part of the phrase was originally I am amazingly wonderful. It was from some self-help, confidence-building book Adam had read long ago. But the words ‘amazingly wonderful’ seemed … inappropriate. He needed something that had more impact. Something that had ‘more balls’ according to Ron. ‘I am fucking awesome’ was a collaborative effort coined just before last call the previous Thursday night. Besides, it made Adam smile every time he repeated the words.

from My Life As A Retail Pharmacist – A Fictionalized Memoir

Apparently my wife has a problem with the way I fold the laundry.  First of all,I fold the laundry.  And, the majority of the time, it’s without asking.  That being said, I will continue.

When I do laundry, I wash it, throw it in the dryer, and fold it.  Sometimes it does sit in the dryer for a bit before it gets folded.  The few wrinkles that happen during that transition are negligible.

She prefers the laundry to be immediately removed from the dryer. If it can’t be folded promptly, she lays it all out neatly in appropriate piles. 

What’s the point? If there is time to do that, take the extra minute to fold it and be done.

But, that’s not what got them mad.

My wife and daughter are forever taking their tops – t-shirts, polos, etc – off inside out.  Those items are washed then ‘piled’ likewise – INSIDE-OUT.

Since I have expressed my extreme annoyance of this, I’ve started folding said clothes inside-out

See where I’m going with this?

It’s laundry. It’s folded.  What does it matter? 

There are more familial anecdotes in my book.  Just click the synopsis or cover a few entry back or go to Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com.

The book is a hell-of-alot wittier than this blog is, though. 

I don’t know about you, but these retail pharmacy advertisements are buggin’ the shit out of me.

Last year Walgreens had those twins, Ethel and Ellen promoting immunizations.  They’re i-den-ti-cal, ya’ know.  Who cares? Come over to Shaw, ladies, I’s gots a shot for ya’!

This year Walgreens has John Corbett workin’ every corner from Happy and Healthy to cha-ching and bonus fuckin’ whatever.  Who writes those adds?

And don’t even get me started on Bonnie from CVS.  That broad needs to be clotheslined darting around the store on that Segway.  With luck she may end up like #86.  (see previous blog entry dated Sept. 3, 2012)

I have no idea what Shaw has in mind, but I’m sure it will be just swell.