Adam Thomas, RPH

The Four-Way Test

Of the things we think, say or do

Is it the truth?

Is it fair to all concerned?

Will it build good will and better friendship?

Will it be beneficial to all concerned?

Actions speak louder than ‘answers’.

I’ve been struggling lately with shit that I have no control over AND that I do not bring on myself.  No, I’m not in denial.  I can honestly say I never do anything to intentional complicate my life.  Why would I? Life complicates it enough for me.  So since I’ve been struggling, I remembered the excerpt below.  Yes, it worked – momentarily. But, tomorrow is another day, ya know. 　

I am confident. I am strong. I am fucking awesome.

The last part of the phrase was originally I am amazingly wonderful. It was from some self-help, confidence-building book Adam had read long ago. But the words ‘amazingly wonderful’ seemed … inappropriate. He needed something that had more impact. Something that had ‘more balls’ according to Ron. ‘I am fucking awesome’ was a collaborative effort coined just before last call the previous Thursday night. Besides, it made Adam smile every time he repeated the words.

from My Life As A Retail Pharmacist – A Fictionalized Memoir

Apparently my wife has a problem with the way I fold the laundry.  First of all,I fold the laundry.  And, the majority of the time, it’s without asking.  That being said, I will continue.

When I do laundry, I wash it, throw it in the dryer, and fold it.  Sometimes it does sit in the dryer for a bit before it gets folded.  The few wrinkles that happen during that transition are negligible.

She prefers the laundry to be immediately removed from the dryer. If it can’t be folded promptly, she lays it all out neatly in appropriate piles. 

What’s the point? If there is time to do that, take the extra minute to fold it and be done.

But, that’s not what got them mad.

My wife and daughter are forever taking their tops – t-shirts, polos, etc – off inside out.  Those items are washed then ‘piled’ likewise – INSIDE-OUT.

Since I have expressed my extreme annoyance of this, I’ve started folding said clothes inside-out

See where I’m going with this?

It’s laundry. It’s folded.  What does it matter? 

There are more familial anecdotes in my book.  Just click the synopsis or cover a few entry back or go to Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com.

The book is a hell-of-alot wittier than this blog is, though. 

I don’t know about you, but these retail pharmacy advertisements are buggin’ the shit out of me.

Last year Walgreens had those twins, Ethel and Ellen promoting immunizations.  They’re i-den-ti-cal, ya’ know.  Who cares? Come over to Shaw, ladies, I’s gots a shot for ya’!

This year Walgreens has John Corbett workin’ every corner from Happy and Healthy to cha-ching and bonus fuckin’ whatever.  Who writes those adds?

And don’t even get me started on Bonnie from CVS.  That broad needs to be clotheslined darting around the store on that Segway.  With luck she may end up like #86.  (see previous blog entry dated Sept. 3, 2012)

I have no idea what Shaw has in mind, but I’m sure it will be just swell.

I went for my biannual dental cleaning recently.  The hygienist knows me and over the years has come to realize what will transpire during the visit.  It’s like me at the pharmacy. I can predict what each customer will complain about even before the person opens their damn mouth.  Same at the dentist office.  The chart is most likely documented – mint polish, no t.v., doesn’t like to talk.

Perfect – I’m happy.  Granted the hygienist IS probably bored to tears, but … .

Did you notice that last ‘documentation’ – doesn’t like to talk?  I know, I know it may seem very obvious. But really, how can you talk when the hygienist has two hands, a very sharp instrument, AND a suction tube in your mouth?

So, there you have it – my question. 

Note – I love the dental office I go to AND we have a close friend that is a hygienist.  I actually think this particular matter has come up in conversation.  But like all things that are related to why people do what they do – it will remain a stumper.

By the way, my name is Adam Thomas. I’m thirty-seven. Married, happily married that is, to Valerie. When I say that I really do mean it. We have a great relationship – something we both appreciate and neither of us takes for granted. We have nine-year-old twins named Kurt and Kathryn. Kurt was technically the first born. For a while Kathryn insisted Kurt pushed her out of the way. Now she is content with the fact that the best was saved for last.

I have a charmed life. But, this is something I, correction Val and I, have created and we have worked very hard to maintain. A simple life, but charmed nonetheless. More on the wife and kids later. They are an integral part of the story and what happens directly affects them. Still, it’s my story. Though I’m not the egomaniac that last sentence makes me out to be. Really.

Yes, this IS another book plug

Since another weekend is upon us, I thought I would share some movie recommendations.

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen  is a wonderful movie – it’s a renter.  Though I’m disappointed I didn’t see it on the big screen -especially the State.  The only movie I’ve seen lately that wasn’t a fail in some way or another.  It was actually complete and whole, yet subtly complex; made a serious mockery out of the media.  But what I admired most was the ‘hope’ that resonated throughout the entire film.  It was nice, very refreshing.

The Intouchables  is also quite good.  However, the subject matter is quite heavy and profound.  I wasn’t ready for it.  That’s probably a good thing.  Probably would’ve talked myself  (and my wife ) out of seeing it.  There would’ve been hell to pay for that.  It’s also the first movie I’ve seen with all subtitles.  I’m not opposed to subtitled films.  I just don’t like to work that hard when I watch a movie.

Enjoy.