Adam Thomas, RPH

That is the date when my pharmacy license will expire.

Thirty hours of Continuing Education (C.E.) every two years is required to renew a pharmacy license. Being the organized, non-procrastinating, anal retentive person I am, I schedule my C.E. at regular intervals over that two year time frame to ensure a non-frenzied completion.  (Insert yawn)

Until now.

Currently, I have ZERO hours completed.  Honestly, I have only two potential lessons to speak of – which I barbarically ripped out of a monthly publication before I recycled the damn thing, mind you.  Those untouched articles continue to collect dust on a shelf somewhere in the pharmacy.

What’s the deal?

First of all, Continuing Education is just dumb.  I search articles for the answers to the questions without even reading the text. By the way, everyone does the same thing.  The 10 hours of ‘live’ credits required to continue to practice are completed on-line, listening to some tired, boring ass professional talk about the incidence of communicable diseases in The Villages, Florida.  Yes, that’s a fun little tidbit to share with friends, especially when drinking.  But to listen to Herpes statistics in the Senior Citizen population, … .  Ugh!

 Secondly, over the last few months my desire to be a New York Times Number One Best Selling Author may have been mentioned … once or twice.  Okay, okay.  Maybe it’s been three times.  I’ve lost count. Unfortunately, such an achievement can be a bit elusive.  Writing/publishing is just a wee bit different than, say, earning a business Masters to further your career path in the company .  All the degrees in the world can’t guarantee success in the publishing world.

Where the hell am I going with this?

No fucking clue. But, I’ve decided to be held accountable to that date.  June 30, 2016.  If continue to not continue with my Continuing Education, the decision is already made.  My license will expire and … .

My  Life  As  A  Retail  Pharmacist will truly be  A  non-Fictionalized memory.

Hmm … .

The same can be said for  me, of course, and my profession as a retail pharmacist.  However, I don’t go all the way back to Ancient Greece.  I may be 50, but I ain’t that old.

On with the real topic of this post.

A suffix is the Word of the Year because a small group of words that share this three-letter ending triggered both high volume and significant year-over-year increase in lookups at Merriam-Webster.com. Taken together, these seven words represent millions of individual dictionary lookups.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/word-of-the-year-2015/-ism

I think this is a very appropriate post subject to close out 2015.  Unintentionally, I’ve ranted my share of vocabulary lessons over the last 12 months.  Thankfully, the topics have been random. Considering the author, what else would they be? In my defense,  I’ve been quite  creative in my presentations.  So, all in all, I’m thinkin’ my quest to enhance understanding of the English language has been well received.

Until now.

This vocabulary lesson has me a bit stumped.

First, what ARE those seven words that sparked this -ism insanity?

• 7.   Socialism
• 6.   Fascism
• 5.   Racism
• 4.   Feminism
• 3.   Communism
• 2.   Capitalism
• 1.   Terrorism

Hmm.  That’s some serious shit–ism.

My initial reaction to a suffix being chosen was – “that’s dumb.”  Then I researched further for posting reasons.  My reaction changed, especially when those words were the -ism words referenced. On one hand, I’m thankful people are conscious about what is actually going on in our country and the world.  With the increased level of self-absorption I witness on a daily basis, I may have thought otherwise.  However I realized  that some, if not all, of those words probably do date back to Ancient Greece.  Should there be concern that people actually have to look up the definition of these words in-the-dictionary?

See where I’m going with this?

Personally, I would love to give the benefit of doubt to these dictionary-go-toers.  But then I do work retail.  The moment I try to do such a thing, reality – aka the American public – bites me in the ass, reminding me to rethink future decisions.  (insert heavy sigh)

This is why I rant Random Nonsense.  Because I’ll tell you something,  posting a picture of a fuckin’ Yak makes me laugh.  I need to laugh remember.  Furthermore, I hope it makes everyone else laugh, too.

I will close 2015 with a random quote about  -ism.

Suffixes are as fruitful as they are underappreciated

I was going to reference this as an ‘annual’ post.  But considering the fate of my last attempt at something annual, – the (supposed to be) annual ski trip – I opted for ‘tradition’, okay.

Just be glad I don’t sing each aloud and include THAT link.

1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are
3. Dementia —I Think I’ll Be Home for Christmas
4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
5. Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and . . .
6. Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
7. Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
8. Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why
9. Attention Deficit Disorder — Silent Night, Holy OOOOOOOOh look at the Froggy, can I have chocolate, why is France so far away?
10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell …

author unknown

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Last year I did a Holiday Music review (My Sounds of the Season 12-08-2014).  While the Carpenters and Amy Grant still jingle my December listening bell,  right now I want to focus on Holiday movies.  And, believe me, there are quite a few.  So many in fact, I could probably crank out another post next year.  Then again, maybe not.  Especially since I just received  Entertainment Weekly which included a feature article on this very subject.

The offerings below are probably the most watched for my family over the years.  Are they my top five? Really not sure.  These are just a few I rattled off immediately.  Anything above that would be more thought than I am capable of right now.  Probably more thought than any readers care about, too.  It’s the holiday season.  And everyone is sooo jolly. (note: sarcastic tone)

That being said – on with the list.  By the way, I did check the alphabetical order twice.

A Charlie Brown Christmas   Linus’ oration about the meaning of Christmas is perfection.  Let alone for a Peanuts movie made in like 1965.  But then 1965 was a very good year.  Always remember the doctor IS in.  However, that nickel won’t go too far nowadays.

Elf     I’ve never been a Will Farrell fan, but he delivers more than spaghetti sautéed in maple syrup in this movie.  “Buddy the elf, what’s your favorite color?” is still an all time classic line.  The whole movie just kinda works for me.   A side note – Zoey Deschumel released a Christmas album – A Very She & Him Christmas.  Luckily I sampled it before purchasing – a bit monotonous? Regardless, she rocks that shower scene.

The Holiday     Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Kate Winslett and jack Black in a Nancy Meyers’ holiday movie.  Really, how can you go wrong?  Yes, it’s predictable, but the cast is wonderful.  Believe it or not, under this retail hardened persona , “I’m a major weeper“. (British accent implied)

Love Actually     I love the idea of this movie, but rarely watch it.  Conceptually, it’s spot on; a talented cast woven into a ensemble storyline that  crescendos  into the be-all of ensemble endings.   This was even EW’s top pick.  Unfortunately, the hard reality of at least three of those ensemble side-storylines are almost too sad.  Yes, there’s hope, but … .

The Santa Clause     Tim Allen as a bumbling Santa Claus at the height of his comic popularity is just sheer entertainment.  Unfortunately,  Hollywood decided two sequels would be a good idea.  But for this post – those movies never happened, and I never acknowledged their existence.  The original is just fun.  Especially when he gets shot down by Judy, a 1200 year old elf, after complimenting her on the hot chocolate she prepared.  “Thanks.  But, I’m seeing someone in wrapping.”  Comic Genius.

Since I mentioned Bing Crosby in the previous post, I felt obligated to acknowledge White Christmas.  It’s White  Christmas.  It kinda needs to be acknowledged when highlighting holiday movies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjnZyuFKH0k

Happy Ho-ho-holiday Watching!

… a ukulele?

Not really, but a friend’s son added a ukulele to his wish list.  For our family, we have already been there, done that a few years back.  But it did all start with Christmas.  Well, Bing Crosby to be exact.

Let me explain.

My daughter love’s the Bing Crosby rendition of   Mele Kalikimaka.  One thing led to another and she received a ukulele that year under the tree.  Later the next year The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain performed here in Traverse City.  It was an amazing concert and each of the members of the group autographed my daughter’s ukulele.  Cool!

My favorite clip is the featured below.  These dudes/dudettes strum complexity to the proverbial ‘mash up’ concept that made Pitch Perfect so perfectly pitched.  Handel composed a piece long ago containing a the melody that is the ‘genesis’ for countless pop songs.  Several selections are mashed up into an incredible ensemble piece.  Yes, those babes from the P2 movies look and sound more entertaining, but none of those ‘pitches’ are plucking a ukulele.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUijx65ss9I&list=PLaTHu3iypnIKBMh1hY-Raf4qRC2p9HuD0

And, just because it’s Christmas, I had to include the Bingster singing his Hawaiian classic with the Andrew  Sisters.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEvGKUXW0iI&list=RDhEvGKUXW0iI

First, yes, this post is about time.  More importantly, time pieces aka the watch.  Secondly, since this post is about time and the post title is Time After Time,  I was compelled to include the video link for the song.  Though you may not be compelled to watch it. I started, then … stopped.  While I do love the album, well, because She IS So Unusual,  watching the dated video was somewhat unsettling.  You see,  that’s the way the majority of the trashy, female pharmacy customers look TODAY.  So you can see why I  experienced a little PTWD – Post Traumatic Work Disorder.  Still, some readers may enjoy the eighties flashback.  And, hair.  And, pajama pant outfits.  And, … .  So I will accommodate accordingly.

As penance –  the Hootie link.  I feel much better and truer to my vision for the post.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFLysouG86I   (Time by Hootie and the Blowfish)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdQY7BusJNU   (Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper)

I have a ‘vanities’ file filled with ads torn from magazines of items I really want.  (insert heavy sigh).  If I had shitloads of disposable cash there would be no file -just lots of … watches  and sunglasses.  Tagheuer makes both by the way.  Oddly enough, I’ve never been a watch person; rarely wear the watch ( a classic Movado) I own.  Still, I love watches.  Go figure.

Recently, I was in Detroit for a hockey tournament and mention of touring the Shinola factory was proposed.  Although the excursion never happened,  I realized this company is awesome.  Not only are the watches handmade  in the U.S.A., they are handmade here in Michigan.  Even cooler.  Shinoa makes bikes and leather goods, too.

 The antiquated idiom “You don’t know shit from Shinola” originated during WWII and referred to the American-made Shinola brand shoe polish (the implication being that a person is too stupid to know the difference between shoe polish and feces).

The original Shinola shoe polish is no longer made, but that doesn’t mean the brand is dead. In 2012 the brand was resuscitated under new ownership. Tom Kartsotis, the formerly retired founder of Fossil (you know, that other watchmaker), established Shinola with the intention of bringing quality hand-crafted watch manufacturing back to America, and based it in Detroit – the heart of American manufacturing.

Apparently Mr. Kartsotis was told that he ‘didn’t know shit from Shinola’ , thinking a watch factory would make it in Detroit.  Well, I’m thinking he knew the difference AND the person who said that to Kartsotis is now eating the ‘shit’.

http://www.shinola.com/our-story/about-shinola

Well, that’s about it. Don’t have too much more to write about time except that it’s probably time to end this post.  Do check out that Shinola link.  It’s inspiring.  Oh, one last question regarding time before I close.

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STS-sZIdhkw

I was going to introduce this clip with another – a woman walks up to the consultation counter – joke/anecdote.  This customer wanted to make sure her mediation side effects wouldn’t be the blame for her ‘agitation’ when her son came into town for Thanksgiving.  Hmm… .

Then I realized that was sufficient.  Besides, this SNL skit  needs no further introduction.

“Hello”  and Happy Thanksgiving.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2zyjbH9zzA

Background:

• centuries ago Peruvian fisherman notice this ‘periodic warming’ around Christmas, naming the phenomenon “little boy” in honor of the baby Jesus
• meteorologically it’s referred to as El Nino Southern Oscillation
• every 2 to 7 years, the waters in the equatorial Pacific between Peru and new Guinea warm and change the weather pattern for North America
• the rise in sea-surface temperature dictates the strength of the system – 3.6 degrees ABOVE Fahrenheit is “very strong”
• 1982-1983 and 1997-1998 have been the strongest recorded
• Currently, the oceanic temperature readings for summer/fall 2015 are MORE than 3.6 above average
•  Godzilla El Nino is coming!

What it all means:

I have no fucking clue.  Moreover, neither does anyone else – especially the meteorologists.  From what I’ve read, even the slightest shift in the Jet Stream can be impactful. To be truthful, the information above was from SKI MAGAZINE  of all places.  Paul Tolme  simplified all the meteorological mumbo jumbo , putting El Nino in terms I understand and can relate too.  Like which resort will have the best conditions this season.  While the jury is still out on my participation in the coveted annual ski trip, the weather here in Northern Michigan can be daunting.   Since my daughter plays travel hockey, a drier, warmer winter would be welcome.

the Weather Channel:

I am a Local on the 8’s junkie.  Really, we only check it during breakfast to plan the day.  However, when the WWA (Winter Weather Advisories) start, we check it a bit more frequently.  Other than that, I’m not a fan of the channel.  I used to be years ago when Marshall Seese and Heather Tesch anchored the morning hours.  Now the attempt to be ‘a morning show’ versus a weather channel is just stupid.  Also, that Sam Champion is a bit much at 7am.  And, those ‘signature’ gym shoes … .  He needs to sign off on that fashion faux pas.

Just a few more random thoughts on TWC:

• Jim Cantore is a total boss when it comes to the weather
• Paul Goodloe, Mike Bettes, Jen Carfagno  are some of my favorite Weather Channel personalities.
• never watched any of the ‘Weather Channel original series’ shows  –  it’s a weather channel.  Report the weather and call it a day.
• Did I mention, Sam Champion needs to reconsider his shoe choice?
• Marshall Seese used to coordinate his tie with the color scheme of Heather Tesch’s wardrobe.  It was a nice, subtle detail.

 SNL link from 1997 El Nino skit:

https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/el-nino/2861308

Godzilla El Nino is coming.

Whether we like it or not.

Whether the weather be cold or whether the weather be hot,
we’ll weather the weather whatever the weather ,
whether we like it  or not.

Condition –

            Resting Bitch Face (RBF) –

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v98CPXNiSk&feature=youtu.be

a person, usually a girl, who naturally looks mean when her face is expressionless, without meaning to.

“Nah, she’s just got a resting bitch face, she’s actually really sweet.”

… I believe it came to popular usage around the same time Kristen Stewart rose to fame. Stewart, along with Victoria Beckham, Megan Fox, and Renée Zellwegger among others, is a classic example of BRF with her glazed eyes, stern brows, and hardly-there smirk.

Topic Overview –

While I ain’t no one’s ‘Bitch’ by any means, my ‘Resting Face’  has … similarly  unattractive qualities.  Prickish asshole sums it up quite well.  Not really the most approachable face for the most trusted profession, eh? Once a customer actually told me that my  “… eyes were blood shot and (I) needed to shave. (I looked)  like my dog just died.”  Unfortunately for him, I looked better that day than he-will-ever-look on his best day.  Who says that to somebody?   Regardless, I think it’s something I need to work on.  Or at least change up this ‘face’ a bit so it’s less asshole more smolderingly sexy. That’s possible.  Right? Probs not.

In conversation, I’ve  polled friends and co-workers for a  male version/term of RBF. However, the few suggestions offered paled in desired impact.   Nothing had the cohesive sounding flow as the female counterpart.  Think about it.  Resting Bitch Face just has a nice ring to it.  So women get to keep RBF for themselves while we men remain assholes, douchebags, and pricks.  Could be worse, I guess.

Causes –

For me, it’s definitely an occupational hazard.  Working 25 years in retail really zaps that zip from your do-da.  Believe it or not I was a nice guy before retail.  I’ve had conversations with some friends who have actually gotten out and decompressed.  Ya know, be able to go out in public and interact appropriately without developing some nervous twitch.  I’m told it’s possible.  Sadly, decompression time is exponential to the time served. If that’s the case, than I’m fucked.

Treatment options –

• Laughter  – even though my 14 day window has come and gone.  I can still laugh.  Or try to.   ( knock, knock 10-08-2015)
• Letting the color flow, of course. While the trending coloring books are chick-lit, I may have to pay a visit to the dollar store to pick up an old fashioned, less complex version. (the ADULT coloring book 10-25-2015)
• For me, the treatment of choice is a two week notice. (two week notice 09-15-2015)

References –

http://www.elle.com/culture/news/a15323/resting-bitch-face-syndrome/

Urban Dictionary

‘Rosie’ library staff at neighborhood branch

Observational / previously published data tabulated by the author of this post.

*Note: www.ASKrandomnonsense.com  is NOT an actual site