Adam Thomas, RPH

Okay, okay  maxims  might be pushing it just a bit.  None of the ‘words of wisdom’ included here are proverbs in any way.  The last entry is really good, though.  But, it works for my post title AND gives me the opportunity to comment on the marquee ‘wisdoms’ about town.

Every right implies a responsibility.

What about the right to remain silent?

Granted the majority of the people in such a situation should remain silent, but few probably do.  Fortunately, the only person harmed here is the one doing the talking.  Every other right this ‘wisdom’ applies to suggests a greater societal impact if that responsibility is not embraced.  For example, retail pharmacy customers have a responsibility to be polite.  (Note: sarcastic tone) Maybe they should all just remain silent.  That might actually work for me.

Contentment is the ultimate luxury.

I disagree completely.  Moreover, I struggle with this on a regular basis.  On the one hand, I am the ONLY person I know from college that is still doing the same damn job since graduation.  Twenty-five years ago! Some would argue that IS the embodiment of contentment.  Conversely, I have written three novels – two of which are e-published, a screenplay, and a wonderful short I absolutely love.  And, I will not stop until I AM a New York Times Number One Best Selling Author.  In the meantime, I need to be the income for a single-income family.  I AM a responsible adult.  If I was content, none of my ‘conversley’s’ would have ever precipitated.  Right? Then I would just be an angry pharmacist with nothing to sustain my ranting.  I realize few things sustain ranting, but can I just have this one?  Please?

After rereading what I’ve just written, I wonder if it’s all just bullshit excuses to justify contentment.  Fuck that! Retail pharmacy is NOT luxury.  I AM NOT content.

I feel better now.  Thank you.

Attitude plus aptitude equals altitude.

As far as I’m concerned, attitude plus aptitude usually equals asshole.  Maybe arrogance would be a more politically correct term.  But aren’t the two kinda’ synonymous?  Furthermore, when have I ever been politically correct?  Maybe the author is stretching the metaphorical limits, implying that altitude is … lofty.  Who cares?  By the way, this is the same marquee that once proposed the following inane question – If a fly had no wings would it be called a walk?

Need I say more?

What happens when you get scared ‘half-to-death’ twice?

I think you’d be dead. I can see why this saying ‘died’ off.  Yes, that awful pun WAS intended.

Finally, the last offering as referenced above.  Really, it’s all that.

Don’t grow up – it’s a trap!

So, my daughter chose the cello for her orchestra instrument in middle school.  She took piano for years, but got bored.  A new start in a new school is always a good thing.  For her, the cello is a wonderful fit.  She’s a natural, of course.  They all are, aren’t they?

Anyway, she loves it and has progressed nicely over the school year.  During her Spring concert, I realized that I knew little of the cello.  For those who know me, this is no great shock.  I know very little in general.  Since this IS my daughter and the cello is just real cool, I decided to do what most people who know little do – I googled it.

• Cello comes from the Italian term violoncello, which is the lowest-pitched instrument in the viol family. During the twentieth century, it became customary to abbreviate violoncello as “cello.”  Mstislav Rostropovich, a cello virtuoso, was in large part responsible for the growth in the cello repertoire. He commissioned and premiered over 100 new works for cello.
• The plural of cello is either celli or cellos.
•  Most cellos have a decorative inlay called “purfling”, which gives the cello an aesthetically pleasing appearance.   It also helps prevent cracking of the wood due to playing, travel, weather, or being dropped or struck.  Cellos are available in different sizes to accommodate children and short people.  The standard weight is five to seven pounds.
•  Cellos (and other string instruments) are held together using hide glue. This glue is made from boiling animal connective tissue. It is strong, but malleable. The glue is weaker than the wood, allowing it to shrink or expand without cracking the instrument.
•  The cello has a rich repertoire of concerti and sonatas. Arguably the most famous and important cello pieces are J.S. Bach’s Six Suites for Cello. The most famous sonatas for cello and piano were written by Beethoven, Mendelssohn, Brahms, Rachmaninoff, Shostakovich, Prokofiev, Poulenc and Britten.  The instrument was highlighted in the Beatle classics Strawberry  Fields  Forever  and  Eleanor  Rigby.

The above being said, I still know very little.  Oh, well.  My daughter is happy.  That’s all that matters.  Also, she discovered that classical music really rocks.  Or, more importantly, is the root of rock and numerous other musical genres.

The two links below are fun.  This cello dude collaborated with The Piano Guys and the result is … wow!   Incredible scenery.  Make sure you watch the second video until the very end.  These Guys have a keen attention to detail.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fz4MzJTeL0c

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDsfou6UfjU

I AM titanium!

A great read!

April 29, 2015

MADISON, Wis., April 10 (UPI) — A Wisconsin petition is seeking to even the score with “the so-called Great Lakes State” by changing the name of Lake Michigan to “Lake Wisconsin.”

The petition states:

We, the citizens of Wisconsin, feel it’s time for the Great Lake of Michigan to be renamed Lake Wisconsin. For too long Michiganders have gloated over Lake Michigan and their pretty sunsets. From now on, we will exclusively refer to it as Lake Wisconsin until every American joins us.To our west we have the Land of 10,000 Lakes. To our east the so-claimed Great Lakes State. And here we are, left in the middle with nothing but a bunch of farmland, cows, and cheeseheads. It’s time to make a change, this is Lake Wisconsin.

At press time, the petition had roughly 500 signatures.  At blog post time that number could be higher.  But, really, who’s counting?  More importantly, who cares? Definitely not me.

A while back there was a petition signed by over 100,00 people to deport Justin Bieber .  With the required amount of signatures, law dictated the petition go to the White House for consideration.  Of course, the Bieber-buck  stopped there.  Nice thought though, eh?  Ten years from now J. Bie will probably WANT to go back on his own accord.  However, Canada might not even want him.

Like I said in my previous post, life is just such a vast resource of ‘good material’.  But, I will refrain from additional remarks on this ‘petition’.  As far as I’m concerned, all commentary is obvious.  Originally I had the link to the article from which that petition was written.  I decided that was … cheesy.  Instead, I will close with a clip from the Justin Bieber Roast  on Comedy Central a few weeks back.

https://www.yahoo.com/tv/best-jokes-from-comedy-centrals-roast-of-justin-115103704270.html

Please –

              You are responsible as the user of this laundry equipment to check each washer and dryer for

grease, dye, gum, lipstick, ink, crayon,  or any foreign objects or materials before inserting clothing.

                                                                                                                                                                        – The Management

That message is posted in three if not four different locations at  the local Laundromat which is appropriately named – coin laundry.  Yes, I said Laundromat.  Though every time I type the damn word,  auto correct capitalizes it.  I’m a horrible speller and use numerous words out of context.  Does auto correct correct those mistakes? No.  But I try to spell Laundromat with an ‘l’ and … .

Anyway, this post is NOT about my frustration with auto correct, it is about my fond memories of public washing clothes facilities – the Laundromat.   As a writer, there are countless,  neverending reservoirs  of ‘good material’ to draw ideas from for character and plot development – retail pharmacy, Wal-Mart, the bus station, the dinner table, the Laundromat – with a capital L , by the way.  Did I say retail pharmacy? I witness shit everyday at the pharmacy that,  as a writer, I  could never feasibly put down on paper.  Fiction imitating life, man.  No doubt about it.  Read that Memoir of mine.  Then we’ll talk.

The Laundromat is no exception.   I do have a washer and dryer in my home, of course.  However, items such as throw carpets and those big fucking comforters that cost more to dry clean than they did to purchase are wonderful candidates for public washing facilities.   I have a great time-saving approach for this alternate laundry option, too.  There’s a Laundromat directly across the street from the gym.  I throw the stuff in the machine, go to the gym for the 27 minute wash cycle, return during its final spin, and  transfer the items to a dryer.  Then I spend the drying time finishing my workout.

Yes, I AM that good, baby.

Though it is somewhat disappointing knowing that all that ‘good material’ lurking the Laundromat is being wasted.  If I had the luxury to sit and wait for my laundry to be done, maybe I would sacrifice my time for ‘research’.  With the way life has gone lately, that’s really not an option.  Those ‘research’ methods, as well as my patience,  have changed.  My tolerance for ‘quirky’ and ‘interesting‘ has been sucked dry from over twenty years of retail.  Besides, I’ve got a household to run.  I’s aint got time for that shit.

This may be jogging the blogging memory bank, but years ago I ranted about the ‘Art of Folding  Laundry’.  Fortunately, my daughters have since changed their habits.  I guess the annoyance of  having their laundry folded inside out got the best of them.

Thank You –

                        –  The Management

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsXqi-eSkWo

P.S. – Sometimes I use top loaders for my small carpets.

Like the title suggests, below are some updated comments/thoughts on previously posted nonsense.   There is no order of appearance.

• I experienced a new massage technique.  Apparently, it involved getting ‘set on fire’.  I was fine.  The building burned down, but I was fine.
• The Blog Master returned.  Removed the ‘original’  review.  It was outdated; good, but outdated.  Besides, it’s posted in the Reviews tab.  Also a Widget  to Robert C. Bradshaw’s book  In  Your  Eyes  will soon be added.  Remember, we are practically the same person.  So, buy that book, too.
• Elle MacPherson is pregnant at age 51.  At least that’s what the Internet reported.  And, as everyone knows, everything on the Internet is true.  Just ask Miley Cyrus.
• Apparently, Lorne Michaels doesn’t allow video clips on youtube.  I’m glad I didn’t waste too much time searching the archives for that Chris Farley/Paul McCartney interview.  Though that James Franco clip I included should be watched in its entirety. The Nicki Minaj / Willow tree ass segment is comic genius.
• Progressive Insurance has a new commercial recreating the dinner scene from The Nutty Professor.  As wonderful as Flo is, the commercial falls flat.  But kudos for creativity.
• The Easter Bunny post was no April Fool’s joke.   Though a recent conversation made me rethink everything.  Well, Easter staples related that is.  I’m not THAT deep.  Anyway, all I can say is it involved conspiracy theories – dentists- cavities.  See where I’m goin’ here?
• Still hate New York, BUT that Taylor Swift album 1989 is so addictive.  Clean is climbing the Soundtrack of My Life charts.  Speaking of that, I’ve decided to start big.  Translation: I’m focusing on albums first.  More on that soon.
• It’s Springtime here in Northern Michigan.  The temperature has finally risen from the negative digits.  So, the Yaktraks are officially stored for the season.  I still think the picture of that Yak is hilarious.
• My Valentine/Christmas card was a huge hit even with the ellipsis misplacement.
• My daughter, the one who can burp on commend, turned twelve recently.  For her birthday, I made her favorite meal – pulled pork and homemade Mac N’ Cheese.   The pork was served on The Original King’s Hawaiian Sweet Rolls.  Wow! It was amazing.
• My son is constantly rediscovering the wonders of passed musical artists.  Could be the music today is total shit and he’s forced to find alternative, talented  musicians?  Heard this song being played and couldn’t help but stop and listen.  I was never a Wizard of Oz / Judy Garland fan.  This rendition (and scenery) is simply beautiful.  It was also the closing credits for a movie filmed in Hawaii.  That was bait, by the way.  Any takers?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_DKWlrA24k

Random rules!

Okay, here it is.  The rant that will take down Easter Bunny lovers everywhere.  April 16, 2014, I posted that I had e-mailed Brach’s about the whole jelly bird egg thing, I concluded  with – Now about that  Easter Bunny … .

Like the origin of Easter, the origin of the Easter Bunny has roots that go back to pre-Christian, Anglo-Saxon history. The holiday was originally a pagan celebration that worshipped the goddess Eastre. She was the goddess of fertility and springtime and her earthly symbol was the rabbit. Thus the pre-Christian Anglo-Saxons worshipped the rabbit believing it to be Eastre’s earthly incarnation.

Spring also symbolized new life and rebirth; eggs were an ancient symbol of fertility. According to History.com, Easter eggs represent Jesus’ resurrection. However, this association came much later when Roman Catholicism became the dominant religion in Germany in the 15th century and merged with already ingrained pagan beliefs.

The first Easter Bunny legend was documented in the 1500s. By 1680, the first story about a rabbit laying eggs and hiding them in a garden was published. These legends were brought to the United States in the 1700s, when German immigrants settled in Pennsylvania Dutch country, according to the Center for Children’s Literature and Culture.

The tradition of making nests for the rabbit to lay its eggs in soon followed. Eventually, nests became decorated baskets and colorful eggs were swapped for candy, treats and other small gifts.

Still, still, still don’t get it. Easter is like the be all end all of religious holidays.  But the Easter Bunny…. .  Please.  From what I’ve read, it’s been around for awhile though.  So, it’s not like you can blame Hallmark for this one.  I get the ‘renewal’ part.  And, I do like the egg hunt thing.  But to convince your child a bunny hops from house to house, leaving treats in baskets.  Well, that’s just setting children up for disbelief on everything fictional.

Don’t get me wrong, I love cupid – no pun intended there.  The Irish thing for St. Patrick’s Day works.  I’m more of a St. Joseph’s Day guy myself.  I’m Irish AND Polish so really – good on both.  The Pumpkins and ghosts spook the Halloween  scene accordingly.  I’m even a Tooth Fairy dude.  And, Santa well … .  When we had to tell my youngest ‘the truth’… .  That just broke my heart.  Though, we insisted the Spirit of Christmas will always exist.

But – ugh – the Easter Bunny hopping around to deliver eggs and … .  Just can’t do it; never have.  From day one, I told my children there was no such thing.  It’s not like it stunted their  emotional growth in any way.

Oddly, my mother loves The Charlie Brown Easter special – It’s the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown  or some nonsense like that.  Go figure.   But, I do love my mother.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbRi1hflGvM

The rant stops here.

By the way, there’s a sale on Brach’s Jelly Bird Eggs down the promotional aisle.

Maybe not –

So, last weekend I was downstate for my daughter’s  State Hockey Tournament.  The team did  great and it was fun.  But, something happened – or didn’t happen – that prompted the idea for this post.

http://www.thenewsherald.com/articles/2015/03/21/news/doc55074fc27fe23070222406.txt

On Saturday, I got wind that Elle MacPherson was actually in the vicinity, watching her stepson play hockey.  You can only imagine my reaction, especially considering my ‘tribute’ post to Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models in April 2014.  I mapquested her location.  The vicinity turned out to be a bit of a distance.  Remember though, THS IS ELLE MACPHERSON.  Still, there were obligations.  Fortunately, those obligations were appropriately timed.  Which meant getting in my car, racing to the rink to see Elle , then returning before my daughter’s  next game was so doable.  If  John and Dave, my friends from college, were there I wouldn’t have thought twice about doing such a thing.  However, they weren’t.  And, I think way too much.  Translation – I didn’t go.

Heavy sigh!

Retrospectively, it’s probably better that I stayed behind.

First of all, the week before some tanker exploded on I-94 and, like, burned the expressway.  This IS Detroit, mind you. Expressways burn on a regular basis there.  So, the road was closed.  I have enough detours in my life that I need to deal with, knowingly venturing off on  a new one would totally ruin the spontaneity of the mission.

Second of all, my ‘seemingly harmless excursion’  has stalker AND ‘weird creepy’ written all over it.  Remember, I AM done with that shit, man.

Lastly, and more importantly, what would I have said? Think about it.  I’m really bad in those types of situations. I often ramble with the written word.  So you can only imagine what I would be like in a nervous confrontation –  WITH ELLE MACPHERSON.  My mouth would probably hang open; drool running down the side of my cheek.  It wouldn’t be  pretty.

It would be a totally different situation if say, I was at a function and was introduced to Ms. MacPherson by a mutual party.  Yes, that scenario would  probably never happen, but … .

Heavy sigh!

I asked a few friends what each would say if confronted with meeting their equivalent of Elle MacPherson.   A friend likened her response to an SNL skit with Chris Farley  interviewing Paul McCartney.  I tried desperately hard to find that clip, but couldn’t.  While the bit I decided to include is ‘awkward’ in a different way, it is seriously funny.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFH_uTvhw4k

I struggled with the best introduction for this post.  It’s an idea that has been slow-cookin’ in the back of my mind for some time.  Think – crock pot?!  Sorry, that was a really bad analogy.  Anyway, … .

A few years back, there was this ‘campaign’ to get families to the table again.  Thus, the previously posted commercial.  While the idea behind the campaign was genuine, I was outraged, disappointed, and then just … sad.  What happened? Why did there have to be  a television commercial ‘campaign’ to get families together?

Yes, everyone is busy.  I get it, okay? I work retail.  Which means, I work retail hours.  Translation: I’m not home for dinner every night.  So I really do get it.  Sometimes I think the ‘we’re so busy’ is more of an excuse than a reality. Boo-fucking-hoo. Deal with it.

The majority of time my family hates each other.  Everyone’s does.  But occasionally, we do have nice moments.  Yes, they may be few, but we still have them. And those moments are usually AT THE DINNER TABLE.  Sometimes, there really are scheduling conflicts. If that’s the case, change the time.  I know a family that eats breakfast together everyday.   This family makes it work.  And, hell, it’s breakfast.  So it’s gots to be good!

Below are a few fun dinner table moments.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F01j4WWOLnA

Whether it’s the matron humming, keeping watch on everything that transpires or siblings arguing about what the word diet actually means,   this is the what the dinner table is all about.   Thankfully, Michael Douglas has never been mentioned at our table.  Furthermore, no one in my family likes the word moist.   So, we are good there.  By the way, my youngest daughter can burp on command; usually at the table.  It’s a talent from my side.  I’m proud of that.  Really.  (sorry the clip was so long)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qfuvul-g6ws

Saw this dinner table scene in the trailer for the movie.  As a family we haven’t had to open, let alone shut any real doors.  Yet.  Though as uncomfortable as some doors may be, being there to discuss the ‘mechanics’ of those doors is crucial.  I will always be there.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9X7G9-2PRc

Poor Raymond.  Such an easy target.  This show was a weekly staple for us.  However, I stopped watching toward the end.  Debra really got overbearing.  Bitch would be a better word.  So, I had to stop.  But this scene is awesome.  Marie rocks.  Frank… .  Well, Frank is Frank.   He is funny, though.  Regardless, this scene says it all.

So, there it is.   My commentary on the importance of the dinner table.  That being said, may I please be excused?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Egi_bCF63Iw