Adam Thomas, RPH

Apparently, January is National Soup Month.  So, it makes complete sense that I am posting a soup  recipe … in February.  (Pause)

Remember, my timing is total shit.  That is why this is perfectly in line.  Besides, I haven’t had a cooking entry in a while.  And, this one is quick, easy, and quite good –  if, you like garlic.

Thirty-Clove Garlic Soup

• 2 heads garlic, halved crosswise
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 4 cups vegetable stock (this is a Martha recipe – she requests it be homemade)
• 8 ounces Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and chopped
• salt/pepper/seasoning of choice
• grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese for serving

Those are the ingredients per Martha.  I was going to include her exact directions, but then decided to post my abbreviated version instead.  It’s so much more kitchen friendly.

1. Drizzle garlic with olive oil and sprinkle with seasoning.  Wrap tightly in parchment paper, then aluminum foil.  Bake in oven at 375 for approximately 45 minutes.
2. Boil potatoes in vegetable stock until done – let cool.  (NOTE – if I’m in a real hurry, I use less stock, then to cool the spuds quicker I add ice.  Sometimes vegetable stock is … strong.  Diluting with the cubes helps mellow the flavor.)
3. Once garlic is roasted, remove from papery skin and place in potato/stock mix.
4. Puree the soup in batches. Then, reheat.  If the soup is too think, add water or stock until smoother consistency.
5. Sprinkle with that grated P-R cheese that I don’t use and, quite frankly, have never heard of.

Truthfully, I think even if you aren’t a garlic fan, this soup would be palatable.  It’s very smooth. I had thoughts about highlighting the advantages of garlic. But, that’s too much work right now.  I’m all about simplicity this post. Granted, some of the health benefits are reduced by roasting. Regardless, garlic IS the bomb!

I put my daughter to task to find an appropriate musical selection to close. I wanted something to celebrate enjoying soup on a cold February evening. This IS a Martha recipe – so, it’s all about the presentation and …

Soup really is good food!

This IS one of those posts that embodies my essence of Nonsense.  But, if you think about it, it is not that Random because it happens often -especially in conversation. NOTE: DO NOT think about it too hard because it will really, really fuck you up.

“Next” always refers to something that you are not able to choose right now. “This” always refers to whatever you can choose right now.

My whole contention with these two words started back in my college days, driving to and from school on various outings.  Remember, this was 30 years ago. GPS was unavailable.  We relied on maps AND roadway signs for directions.  Often NEXT EXIT became THIS EXIT way too fast.  Or NEXT EXIT was truly THIS EXIT.  In both scenarios, YOU MISSED IT was the ultimate reality.  I’m convinced it was some conspiracy theory planned by the DOT intended to fuck with drivers.  The instigators then sat in an office in an undisclosed location, sipping coffee looking at some techy grid. Smiling.  Luckily, GPS has ‘fixed’ the problem. Though, I’m convinced even Siri has ulterior directional motives.

Baby Driver has NO confusion about what’s NEXT

Recently, I e-mailed a friend inquiring about his job transfer.  Originally I was told he would leave town in March.  Since I had heard about this transfer a few months back, I assumed THIS March, meaning 2018.  In his response, he stated the new assignment would be NEXT JULY.   The email was right around the New Year.  So… . Does he mean July 2018 or July 2019?  To this day, I still have no idea when he is leaving.  Quite frankly, I’m embarrassed to ask.

Similarly enough, I finished reading a preview about an upcoming movie that is supposed to open NEXT December.  Further in the article, the release date of December 2018 was referenced twice.  Yes, this was a January 2018 volume. Therefore, the article was written, then proofed sometime in 2017.  Hmm… .

See why I’m confused.  See why I also warned – DO NOT  think about it too hard.  It seriously messes with you.

I disagree that “this Friday” only has meaning if it is Friday. It means: the Friday that is not in question. Next Friday means, the one after that. If there is not a “this” at the present moment (hard to imagine with a day of the week) then it gets confusing. For a day or two after the weekend, “this weekend” actually refers to the weekend that just passed, as in: “What did you do this weekend?”

I’m a pretty direct guy, especially in conversation.  I chose my words efficiently to facilitate communication. (EXCEPTION: blog rambling, of course) I stress action verbs and use as few words as possible.   That’s why THIS  – NEXT conundrum is total shit.  Do it NOW and shut the fuck up!

Lastly, the real cluster occurs when there is a line  of customers at the pharmacy counter and the cashier asks “who’s ...

NEXT

Well, I’ve hit the big 300.  Posts, not years, okay.

Back when I celebrated 200, I compiled a fun MasterCard Moment.  This time around, I had no idea how I wanted to present my postal milestone.  I had a few ideas. Though, none were a strong front runner.

My first thought was to combine this with an updates and understandings recap usually done this time every year.  Truthfully, I have no updates and I understand less and less with every day.  Besides, looking back can be so cliche.  Just wasn’t feeling it.

Instead, I decided to move forward.

I have an appointment with ‘the Yoda’ – Master of all that is Blog.  Soon. I think I’m due for a makeover.  Then again, I kinda like my adamthomasrph.com look – simple, classic, and lean.  None of the complicated shit that is totally obnoxious on other website/blogs.  We’ll see.  Speaking of that, I’ve heard that blogs are becoming a thing of the past.  Well, so am I, baby.  But, I’m still here, looking and feeling just my home page – simple, classic, and lean.  So, fuck ’em.

Most of all, I want to THANK YOU  for reading and following.  This blog truly keeps me sane.  And, writing.  With my familial downsizing, I do have some extra time.  Hopefully, I can put that to use. Translation: my next project.  Right now, I’m still just chillin’.  And, heavy bag training, of course.  Remember, it’s all about the … sting.

Actually, this is post number 303 to be exact. I waited to boast my postal accomplishment for another reason.  I had a 5-STAR  rating recently.  Consequently, it was submitted on  GoodReads.  I was hoping that same reader would post a rating or review on Amazon as well – Amazon reviews are much easier to highlight. (HINT- click the book icon)  Then, something wonderful happened – a different reader posted another 5-STAR review.  On Amazon.  How cool is that?  Better yet,  I was able to cut/paste the actual  STARS.  Aren’t they beautiful!

Awesome!   

January 21, 2018

Keep calm and blog on!

Well, we actually have a winter.  The last few years have been marginal at best. I haven’t minded, considering the traveling required for hockey.  I must say, 2017  was one of the oddest, most unpredictable weather years.  Traverse City is primed for winter, though.  Well, it used be. Long gone are the die-hard natives that thrived in temperature extremes.  Now all that remains are pansy-ass ‘residents’ that have no idea how to function – let alone exist when it’s a mere 32 degrees.

Since it’s mid-January, I decided it was appropriate to pen a post about Winter and the Nonsense associated with the season.  My Random thoughts will be included, of course.

• I still can’t stand the naming of winter storms.  Never have; never will.  So dumb!  Jim Cantore and Stephanie Abrams totally rock as the Weather Channel personalities/veterans.  CAUTION: Don’t mess with Mr. Cantore if thunder snow is in the forecast.  He gets a little excited.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdRWGMyeSYY

• My snow blower is officially fixed.  Though shoveling remains my snow removal method of choice.  It’s rather peaceful.  I used to be quite anal about my technique – NO tire tracks. And, those little bread-crumb like tracks of snow that trailed off the sides of the shovel always made me crazy. Note: past tense.  That was before kids AND before life.  Now, my ONLY goal is to get up and down the drive without traction  issues.  At times, snow on the drive is a good thing.
• Parking when there’s even just a dusting of snow is a complete cluster.  People are so fucking stupid!  It’s a parking lot.  Use some common sense.  But, then these are probably the same idiots who ‘do’ the Farmer’s Market.  So, …. .
• During Winter Storm Chloe or was it Dylan (note: sarcasm), I had to pick up my daughter from a sleepover at a friend’s house.  I must say, that was probably my worst driving experience in years. And, it was early afternoon.  Visibility was horrible.  Everyone was driving with hazards flashing.  Well, except me.  I understand the intention, especially on an interstate.  But this was city driving at 10 MPH – in D3.  Maybe these drivers should’ve just pulled over and … parked? Hmm… .
• Flannel sheets are definitely the way to go in wintertime.  Getting into a warm bed when it’s below zero and the wind is howling is quite lovely.
• I’m still on the fence about this wool sock thing. Not feeling the ‘thread’.  My feet sweat a lot and the moisture is NOT wicked off as well as advertised. Granted, disclosing my sweaty feet issue wasn’t completely necessary. But, it’s tangible information for posting purposes.  Besides, I often include such personal trivialities.  Though if I had to choose, I prefer Darn Tough over SmartWool.
• Lastly, my Yaktrax are finally getting some miles this season.

I guess that’s it for now.  I’m sure there’s more.  I work retail. And, it’s Winter.  There will always be another ‘storm’ to usher in more Random Nonsense.

I need to shovel.

January Hymn

Happy Winter?!

This really isn’t about Muhammad Ali.  But, it is about boxing.  Kind of. You see, I often struggle with fun, yet appropriate titles.  So when I come across a catchy phrase that has anything remotely related to my topic, I run with it.

Round One

I thought about taking boxing lessons some years back.  Unfortunately, life got in the way.  It’s very time consuming AND expensive.  Still, my interest for alternative training techniques is ever present.  The gym I frequent has a heavy boxing bag.  Every now and then I’d see random people spar with it. And, I would pause, wondering about the possibility of doing it myself. I was hesitant.  My agility and coordination, or lack thereof, thwarted any concentrated effort.

Within the past several months, a few gym junkies I know have commented about the workout punching that damn heavy bag provided. So, when I entertained the thought again, I did more than pause.  Considering my last opportunity to shake up my routine almost landed me in the slammer, I decided to be a bit more conservative when choosing my next challenge.

After I googled what I needed to know, I committed to the task.  Hell, I even went and purchased my own gloves.  The community gloves that the gym supplies are gross.  I  began ‘training’ on off hours when fewer patrons were around.  The rhythm needed to perform boxing bag basics is difficult to master. In no way did I want to look like I was doing a Richard Simmons aerobic routine instead of Cassius Clay beating the shit out an opponent.

Round Two

Power Punching is a great way to build muscle in the shoulders, arms and back. By adding heavy body strikes and uppercuts, you can also target your pectorals, biceps and traps, giving you a complete upper-body workout.

boxing bag basics – 101

Back in October 2014, I posted my review of  The Underachiever’s Manifesto.  On a recent visit to that same ‘library’, I found Improve Your Vision  by  Martin Brofman.  I was intrigued.  Over the last few years, my vision has become compromised – especially nighttime driving.*  I’m 52 and have never worn glasses.  So I’m, thinking it’s about time.  But, if there was something I could do to prolong this inevitable, I’m willing to try.  Bonus – the book was way short.  Exercises and various other Appendices  made it even shorter. I was hesitant, though. Considering the nature of the ‘library’, I immediately thought it would be one of those self-help books, focusing more on  metaphorical references rather than scientific findings.  Quite frankly, I just wasn’t in the mood to read about my personality shortcomings let alone how to fix them.  Still, I flipped through the pages, saw a few diagrams then proceeded to the  circulation desk.

Dead metaphor

Within the first few pages, I realized how blatant the metaphor originally presumed was presented. Yet, I continued to read.  I guess I should’ve realized this when the ‘eye chart’ included remained attached to the inner binding.  Apparently, the previous reader had much better ‘vision’ than I.

the 25-50-25 principle

I’ve read enough self-help books to arrive at a formidable conclusion. Twenty-five percent of what is written is spot on great information that is totally applicable AND reasonably attainable. Fifty percent is food for thought, so to speak – plausible however, “I’m not sold on the idea” type – YET.  The remaining twenty-five percent is complete bullshit.

This book challenged that principle.  Hell, I can’t even break it down.  Since it was so short, I skimmed the remainder of the book.  Don’t worry, I had no intention on doing any ‘Exercises’.  And, the ‘Success Stories’ section was successfully NOT read.  I hate fucking testimonials. Or would that be … fucking hate … ? Hmm … .

Nut Graf 

I get that stress is bad.  It can compromise every bodily system functionality.  Yes, even your vision.  But, Brofman’s conclusion that stress related personality typing correlates to specific visual disturbances is borderline credible at best.

nearsightedness – self-absorbed individuals intimidated by their environment

farsightedness – those who’s attention is directed outward, yet obsessed with past failures

astigmatisms  – the Will eye wants, the Spirit eye feels and the resulting vision is … definitely seeking therapy  – #totally fucked

visual floaters –  a result of control issues

* and the author’s view on my condition – “We (society) are encouraged to believe that our natural tendency is to fall apart and grow useless as we get older.“

Appendix: Questions and Answers 

Skimming this section was mandatory; for my entertainment, of course.  Trust me – I wasn’t disappointed either. Here is a sample of an actual question. Oh, and the … answer.

Can sexual habits affect your eyesight?   No, but suppressing true feelings can have adverse affects. Then Brofman wrote – “Just be who you really are , and feel what you really feel.  When you’re hot, you’re hot.  When you’re not you’re not.”  Yeah, that really was a direct quote.

Overall  Review 

I Can See Clearly Now   that this is definitely a book that needs to improve ITS vision.

What is considered champagne?

Sparkling wine can only be called Champagne if it comes from the region of Champagne, France, which is just outside of Paris.  Champagne appellation law allows only grapes grown according to appellation rules in specifically designated plots within the appellation to be used in the production of champagne.  Translation – everything else is just sparkling wine.  Further, champagne can only be made using white Chardonnay and black  Pinot Noir, and Pinot Meunier. So, it’s like, totally blended, baby.

 What would Christmas be without the emotionally challenged? Last week, a woman picked up her Xanax and said, “you can tell the holidays are coming.” Just like everything else, gets earlier and earlier every year. Considering my Nonsense lately, I think there’s an ICD-10 category with my name on it under the tree.

On a different, yet similarly themed note, my Christmas cards are officially completed.  I decided to go basic this year – boxed cards / no picture.  Hallmark, of course. Unknown to me, my envelopes for one of the designs had an awful red bird and snowflake motif. I decided it provided that ‘twist’ I try to strive for every year.  I’m just happy to get them done. I so want to put 2017 behind me.

Enough with the random rambling, on with the Challenged Christmas Carols.  Feel free to … sing a long?!

1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are
3. Dementia —I Think I’ll Be Home for Christmas
4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
5. Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and . . .
6. Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
7. Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
8. Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why
9. Attention Deficit Disorder — Silent Night, Holy OOOOOOOOh look at the Froggy, can I have chocolate, why is France so far away?
10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell …

Merry Christmas

I was struggling with a post topic this time around.  A few ideas were drafted, but nothing grabbed my attention. Besides, it is the week before Christmas. Nothing will grab anyone’s attention.

I considered a post about socks.  Yes, socks.  My daughter loves graphic designed socks. And, they are great gift ideas.  But for me, socks are all about function and, uh, that’s it.  Nothing there.

My snow blower is broken.  Of course it started snowing – every day, mind you.  The good thing is I love to shovel.  Wasn’t feeling that topic either – no good angle.  I originally planned that idea for a January post.  We’ll see. Nothing there now.

Then, the unintentional happened.

Every Monday I work late.  Fortunately, Monday morning is the ONLY time everyone in the household is gone.  Translation: office time. Unfortunately, this week I was scheduled in the morning during office time.  Did I mention it’s the week before Christmas?  I had a lot to do.  And, I really needed my office time.  Needless to say, I was cranky. However, I managed to rearrange my ‘to do’ list accordingly. Remember, I do damage control rather well.

Monday night I had four stores to hit – all in close proximity to each other. Correction five.  My wife requested an additional stop.  Begrudgingly, I agreed.  Oh, did I mention she had coupons?  Yeah.

At my first stop, I was found by an employee as I wandered the establishment, then handed the store phone.  Are you fucking kidding me?  It was my wife informing me that even though the coupons were expired, the store would still honor them. Once again – Are you fucking kidding me?

At my second stop, I saw a former fellow employee.  She stated she had just come from the funeral service for another former employee’s teen aged daughter. Apparently, this girl was born without an enzyme and, well, you can imagine the struggle the family endured.  The father was a good dude – we celebrated Corduroy Day back in 2011 – (11-11-11).  The family moved away years ago seeking more specialized health care. Alas, we lost touch. Their roots were here, though.  So it was decided this is where the service would be held.

I checked the time.  She apparently knew what I was thinking and told me that I could probably still make the viewing if I hurried.  I wanted to be there.  I haven’t had a sense of urgency like that for, like, ever.  I abandoned my remaining errands (and expired coupons) and drove to the funeral home. Suddenly, my want quickly shifted to a need.  I felt horrible for the loss and just wanted to express my condolences.  I was consumed by grief.

By the time I arrived, though, everyone was gone.  I sat in the empty parking lot, contemplating options.  Sadly, there were none.  My opportunity was lost. Now, a sympathy card and/or awkward social media generated message will be sent.  It’s just not the same.

I entitled this as I did because it was not intended to be written.  Some things are not intended to happen either.